Mind

Mind jokes

Head

    • What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

    Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

    Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

    Mind memes

    Cookie

    • Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

    1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

    2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?

    Rape

    • I raped a girl and I liked it.

    I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.

    It felt so wrong, it felt so right.

    Don't mean I'm in love tonight.

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    • Orphan

    • We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.

    Night

    • One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

    I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

    Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

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    • Funeral

    • It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

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    • Husband

    • Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.

    She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.

    The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,

    "Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."

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    • Sense

    • I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

    He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

    "Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

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