Mind jokes

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

Did you hear the rumors about butter?

Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.

After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tear-able.

Twitter just blew my mind.

I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!

So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.

Never mind.

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Let me tell you a joke about pizza!

Never mind...

It's too cheesy.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.