Mind jokes

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."

Did you hear the rumors about butter?

Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.

Twitter just blew my mind.

I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.

Never mind.

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tear-able.

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

Let me tell you a joke about pizza!

Never mind...

It's too cheesy.

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!