When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
What was Stephen Hawking last message before he died: server shutting down
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"
ROSES ARE RED, LEMONS ARE SOUR. OPEN YOUR LEGS AND GIVE ME AN HOUR.
KIK:hangtherule
When you send her a dick pic but then she sends you one right back...
A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
My friend txted me and asked me "Hey. Whts ur favorit emoji?" I said "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬" She said "why?" I said "Cause its your twin"
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
I asked a <a href="https://chritmis.com/romantic-good-morning-messages/">Chinese girl </a> for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
A pedophile is chatting on the internet : "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
