New You're Memes - Page 45 - Worst Jokes Ever

Me:

A young boy in a blue martial arts outfit is doing a high kick against a tree. The text on the image reads "Friend: here comes your crush, act natural. Me:"

Fair point.

A social media post with a comment thread. The initial post states, "being kissed in your sleep is...like...the purest form of love." A reply to that comment reads, "Unless you are home alone" and is followed by another comment "Or in prison."

The type of society we live in

A picture of a child with a bowl cut wearing a green sweater with a teddy bear attached. The text says, "Old people at weddings always poke me and say, "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

OMG I DID NOT MEAN TOO

The image shows a close-up view from below the chin of a person with long, curly brown hair and a plaid shirt. The camera appears to be angled upwards from below the face, and a neutral gray background fills the upper two-thirds of the frame. A tiny portion of a text in white on dark background is visible in the bottom right corner of the image with "LOVE YOURSELF!" written.

Me on Monday

A three-panel image from the TV show Friends. The first panel shows Joey sitting in a chair saying, "It's been a tough year." The second panel shows Phoebe with the caption, "It's the first week of January." The third panel shows Joey looking at Phoebe with the caption, "Your point?"

Found a good definition of the jokes here while listening to Without Me by Eminem

A dictionary definition of the word "obscene" is shown. The text of the definition reads "obscene | adjective (of the portrayal or description of sexual matters) offensive or disgusting by accepted standards of morality and decency: obscene jokes | obscene literature. - offensive to moral principles; repugnant: using animals' skins for fur coats is obscene. ORIGIN late 16th century: from French obscène or Latin obscaenus 'ill-omened or abominable'."

Bluey

The image is a three-panel meme. In the first panel, a person smiles widely with text that says "Everything is going really well and you feel great about your life's trajectory." In the second panel, the same person looks distressed with text that says "The holidays brought difficult questions from family and now you're overthinking everything." In the third panel, a scene from the cartoon "Bluey" is shown with the same person smiling again.

My brother when i slap him on the arm. But at the same time they are not about to grow up soft.

A man with a surprised expression has his finger in front of his lips, as if telling someone to be quiet. The text says "WHEN YOU SLAP YOUR LITTLE BROTHER AND HE STARTS TO CRY."

Joke turned serious

A young child is looking confused with his hand on his cheek. The text above reads: "When you tell your parents a joke and it turns into a lecture."

Me everyday

A man in a green uniform and khaki pants is shown mid-reaction, seemingly jumping. The caption reads, "When your shower is too hot and it hits your back."

TechPriestGotDrip

Or Holy Oils work

A picture shows a mechanical figure in a red hood holding a staff with a gear on top. The text on the image reads: "When you fixed a minor error on your computer by googling it. I hold the secrets of the machine spirit."

TechPriestGotDrip

I know them all, just like you keep busting onto your computer keyboard, that's why it's always got sticky keys

The image shows a disassembled car key at the top and a drawing of a mechanical character with glowing blue eyes with the text "I know the secrets of the machine". The caption at the top reads "when you learn how to disassemble your car key".

TechPriestGotDrip

When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.

A picture of a cartoon character with white hair and a sly smile, with the text "Parents: are you still a virgin? The toaster:"

TechPriestGotDrip

Fine I'll soon turn this wasteland of a page into r/Admech and r/AdeptusMechanicus habitable sites by myself

The image shows two panels of a character that looks like a TechPriest from Warhammer 40k. The top panel has the text: "Use newly invented weapons that are superior than your current ones to assist the Imperium." The bottom panel has the text: "Putting them in storage for hundreds of years so you can claim that you can 'Rediscover Old Technology'."

OMG

A white and orange cat is sitting on a rocky surface outside, looking directly at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "WHEN YOU REALIZE YOUR HUMANS ARE TRYING TO BECOME YOU BY PRACTICING SOCIAL DISTANCING, STAYING HOME ALL THE TIME, AND CLEANING THEMSELVES OFTEN."

THIS IS ME

A person with long brown hair is wearing a blue hoodie with the hood pulled over their head, obscuring their face. Only their mouth is visible. The background shows a classroom with 'WELCOME' written on the wall.

I'm ¨not¨ drunk

Very interesting

The image shows a psychopathy quiz result. It says "Psychopathy Likely" and the score is 20 out of 24. It says that the quiz was answered consistently with people who score high on measures of psychopathy and psychopathic behavior, which suggests the person likely has psychopathic tendencies.

When your in a hotel and hear muffled moaning from another room

A screenshot from a YouTube video of Eminem with a shocked facial expression. The subtitle reads, "Something's wrong, I can feel it."

WTH

A picture shows a baby trying to sneak out of work. Text on the image reads: "WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO SNEAK OUT OF WORK AND YOUR BOSS WALKS IN."

WTF

A baby with wide eyes and a concerned expression is pictured. The text on the image reads, "THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU SEE YOUR BOSS ON THE GOLF COURSE AFTER CALLING IN SICK."