Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Two Memes

Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two wolves with odd expressions. The text reads: "Inside me, there are two wolves. One is retarded, and so is the other."

Heroin Monkey

An image of two wolves facing each other against a moon background. One wolf has the text "I hate the Federal Reserve" and the other wolf has the text "lol same". The text at the top of the image reads "INSIDE YOU THERE ARE TWO WOLVES".

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

Two tubes of Burt's Bees lip balm are superimposed in front of a grim reaper image, with the text "today I will eat two charpstick" at the bottom.

Heroin Monkey

A man wearing a balaclava and camouflage clothing stands in a grassy field holding a rifle. Above him is text that reads: "Definitely do not soak a bag of flour in diesel fuel and let it dry for a day or two. And then, by no means, do NOT insert a firecracker into the diesel flour dough. That's redneck C4 and is super duper dangerous."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two men with mustaches and beards. The text says "INSIDE YOU ARE TWO THEODORES". The left person is sad looking, the right one looks more confident. There is a moon in the background.

Heroin Monkey

A photo of two stuffed chicken breasts that look like they are about to burst, sitting on a dirty pan. The top comment says "The stuffed chicken breasts did not go as planned." Additional comments include, "Were you cooking this in the sewer," "Chernobyl fleshlight", and "Guys I found it. The two worst words to put together."

Unimportant Intelligence

Best president

The image shows a black and white photograph of Teddy Roosevelt. Above the picture there is text that says: "did you know? A man once pointed two guns at Teddy Roosevelt and insisted that he pour drinks for the entire bar. Teddy said, 'Well, if I've got to, I've got to,' then stood up, knocked the guy out with three punches, and took his guns away." The image also has a photo source and a website at the bottom: "PHOTO: WIKIMEDIACOMMONS" and "DIDYOUKNOWFACTS.COM".

ADHD autist

I asked different Ai bots if they exist, this is bot number two:

A chat conversation with yellow speech bubbles on the left containing the text "Hello" and "I'm fine, Thanks!!" and a dark speech bubble on the right with the text "Do you exist?". There is also a text input box.

Anonymous

The image is divided into two panels. The left panel shows Mark Zuckerberg with a serious expression, accompanied by text that reads "That COVID meme violates community guidelines. You are banned." The right panel shows a smiling Mark Zuckerberg with glasses, and the text says, "Yea bro I agree! There are only TWO GENDERS!"

Pankake

Me when I find out we have two tests on the same day

A small, fluffy bird with an angry expression sits on a dark ledge against a blurred yellow background. The bird looks directly at the viewer with a scowling face.

Heroin Monkey

bro wtf is tihs ad

A video game ad showing a baby crawling away from a man in an orange shirt in a house. The text says, "Play Whos Your Daddy. Play Around In Your Two-Story House And Garden Packed With Potentially Dangerous Items. Sponsored. MaxLevelFun. Download"

Remington

these two definitely look the same

A meme featuring a scene from "The Office" where Pam is holding two pictures and says, "Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture. They're the same picture."

ShyDragon3

poor police

A four panel cartoon of a person with a beard and a joint in their mouth. In the first panel, the text on the image reads '*knock knock*' and 'Who is it?'. The text on the door is 'Police'. In the second panel the text reads 'Why are you here?' The text next to the door reads 'We want to talk to you'. In the third panel the text reads 'How many you all are?'. The text next to the door reads 'Two'. In the fourth panel, the text reads 'Then talk to each other!'. The text at the bottom of the image are URLs.

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

leaf turner

The image is a book cover with a pink background. The title "Cabbages and Crime" is written in white text. Below the title, the author's name, "Anne Nash", is written. The cover also features a skeleton sitting in a large cabbage. The text on top reads: "Two florists become kennel-keepers with murder thrown in for good measure."

Anonymous

A portrait of an old man in a black coat with the text "There are two kinds of people in this world. Avoid both of them."

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon drawing shows two people walking along a path near a field where several sheep are grazing. A sheep in the background is holding a sign that says 'TWO-TIMING BASTARD!'. The first person says in a speech bubble, 'I CAN'T QUITE READ THAT. WHAT'S IT SAY?' The second person responds in a speech bubble 'UH...'

Anonymous

The image displays the text "WTF SEX FACTS#" in bold red letters, followed by the statement "Sex and trust are two of the most important parts of a successful relationship." The background is plain black.

Heroin Monkey

A still from the "Saw" movies, showing John Kramer aka Jigsaw, wearing a dark robe with a red inside. The image has the following text: "Remember when you accidentally stepped on a bug 30 years ago? In two minutes this hot lead will fill your urethra."

rapboat

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The title reads "sounds about right. Fucking typical. This is how it goes with anyone I talk to". The thread shows a user asking to name two hip-hop artists so they can be compared. The first response is asking whether they meant "Aesop rock or Lupe fiasco". Then there's a response that claims that Lupe is better as a lyricist. Another user asks if they meant "aesop rock or asap rocky" because they are different rappers, to which the user replies he meant asap and that he never actually listened to Aesop rock.

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