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Christmas

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man's face is photoshopped onto the body of a round character wearing a brown hat and brown and white striped top, holding a large red and white swirled lollipop. The text above the image says: w-w-well does this mean i get two quissmassess~?

Voice

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost master general

A four-panel exploitable meme featuring the Trollface. The top left panel shows a beaker with yellow and blue liquid, with the text 'The voices are back'. The top right panel shows the Trollface and the text '1) do not listen to them', 'get a forklift', and 'cover yourself in oil'. The bottom left panel shows the Trollface again, surrounded by various bizarre and disturbing commands like 'cover yourself in oil', 'find a sturdy metal chair', 'place buttered toast on a cat's back', 'find two magnets', 'get a forklift', 'buy 1kg of pure mercury', 'let us take control', 'you did this to yourself', and 'kill them all', with the heading '2) resist their commands'. The bottom right panel shows the Trollface with an even more chaotic and layered jumble of text, including many of the previous commands, self-blaming phrases like 'you did this to yourself', 'we can't outrun your sins', and 'this is your fault', and the large, distressed red text '3) make it stop' and 'MAKE IT STOP'. The overall image depicts a descent into a desperate mental state.

Penalty

DAP ME UP · 3 years ago

Me at a restaurant

Two soccer players are talking to a referee. The text on the image says: "HOW MANY PENALTIES WOULD YOU LIKE TODAY? UMM... TWO PLEASE!"

Cookie

😝 SWEET B*TCH😝 · 3 years ago

OFF

A black labrador covers the eyes of a white dog. The text says "HIM? NO, HE DOESN'T WANT A COOKIE. HE SAYS I CAN HAVE TWO."

Dagger

Anonymous · 3 years ago

For some unexplainable reason I instantly though “hmm this sounds like something for dagger”

An image of a knight in full armor with a text overlay that reads "Here we can see two men eager to reclaim the holy land, staring at each other."

Alpha male

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot shows a tweet from Nick Adams (Alpha...). The tweet reads: "Alpha males enjoy the company of other alpha males because iron sharpens iron." Below, a reply tweet from Pirate @OaktownPirate shows a detailed black and white illustration of two muscular men in leather jackets and caps embracing face to face, their bodies pressed together.

Horse

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is split into two parts. The upper part shows a man explaining something with a frantic expression, standing in front of a wall covered with papers connected with red threads. The text says, "Me explaining that a pregnant horse can run faster cause it has two horsepower". The bottom part shows a seal with a bored and unimpressed look. The text says, "My physics teacher."

Year

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A man is half-buried in the ground with a grave stone and flowers in the background. The text reads: "Me thinking about something awkward I said two years ago."

World War

Anonymous · 4 months ago

A parody screenshot of the 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?' game show. A woman with a short, styled haircut and a confused facial expression looks at the screen. The question displayed is 'WWII?'. The four options provided are 'A: World War One', 'B: World War Three', 'C: World War Two', and 'D: World War Eleven'.

Stanley

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Kamala Harris

Willy b · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a social media post on a dark background. The top half shows a news broadcast split-screen featuring Tucker Carlson on the left and David Daleiden, identified as a pro-life activist, on the right. The text on the news image mentions "Kamala wanted to obstruct investigation into the sale of baby body parts." The post text below reads: "When two undercover investigators secretly taped Planned Parenthood admitting selling baby parts (a felony), Calif Attorney General prosecuted the undercover investigators, NOT Planned Parenthood. That Attorney General was Kamala Harris."

Girl

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧ · 2 years ago

man this hits

A social media post from the subreddit r/teenagers with the title: 'Bruh yk what I want?' The post reads: 'Just to be lying down, arms around a girl not just cause she's hot or cute but cause I genuinely care about her and love her and she feels the same way. Just to be like holding her close and maybe stroking her hair. Maybe at one point giving her a soft kiss or two before she'd fall asleep into my arms so I could drift off too. Yes I am cuddle horny.'

Level

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two cartoon characters, one with orange hair in the passenger seat and the other with red hair driving, are having a conversation. The orange-haired character says, "There is likely no level of trust equal to two cannibals having oral sex." The red-haired character responds, "I worry about you sometimes, Candace."

Sewer

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A photo of two stuffed chicken breasts that look like they are about to burst, sitting on a dirty pan. The top comment says "The stuffed chicken breasts did not go as planned." Additional comments include, "Were you cooking this in the sewer," "Chernobyl fleshlight", and "Guys I found it. The two worst words to put together."

Bag

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man wearing a balaclava and camouflage clothing stands in a grassy field holding a rifle. Above him is text that reads: "Definitely do not soak a bag of flour in diesel fuel and let it dry for a day or two. And then, by no means, do NOT insert a firecracker into the diesel flour dough. That's redneck C4 and is super duper dangerous."

Life

Toast ツ · 2 years ago

Guys only want two things in life

A split image. On the left, an anime-style couple is hugging with the text: "Shh... There, there it's alright. There's no need to worry. You don't need to hold your tears back anymore. I love you." On the right, a cat is shown with the text: 你完成了我的命運世界在我裡面展開你完成了我的命運光環走你重按我的命運倒帶我們可以你補充我的位置你補充我的位置來救我

Story

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Todoroki

AnimeGuy · 3 years ago

hmmmmmmmmm

The image shows a scene from Spongebob Squarepants where two characters are looking up with confused expressions. Above them in a thought bubble are three anime characters. There is All Might, then a girl, and on the right side a character with white hair. Below it is written: "Todoroki's last two braincells."

German

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows Squidward on one side of a brick wall and Spongebob on the other side. Below the image it says: "Two Germans (Eastern and Western) attempt communication across the Berlin Wall. (May 13, 1963) (re-colorized)".

Sleep

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The image shows a cartoon character, Arthur, with dark circles under his eyes, looking very tired. The text above the image reads: "friend: how long did you sleep for? me: 8 friend: hours? me: minutes".

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