Worst Jokes Ever

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Two Memes

😝 SWEET B*TCH😝

OFF

A black labrador covers the eyes of a white dog. The text says "HIM? NO, HE DOESN'T WANT A COOKIE. HE SAYS I CAN HAVE TWO."

Willy b

A meme with text on top that reads, "SATAN: SO WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE? ME: "I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents." Underneath the text is an image of a black cat with wide eyes.

Willy b

shaylie lol

A man is half-buried in the ground with a grave stone and flowers in the background. The text reads: "Me thinking about something awkward I said two years ago."

Heroin Monkey

Two types of Americans
STANLEY
STANLEY
@bendinwithbendon
QUENCHER H2.0
TUMBLER
working class selling their buttholes
on tiktok

Willy b

A cross-section diagram of the Y-1561 implosion sphere showing component placement with the text "You happy???"

Heroin Monkey

The image is split into two parts. The upper part shows a man explaining something with a frantic expression, standing in front of a wall covered with papers connected with red threads. The text says, "Me explaining that a pregnant horse can run faster cause it has two horsepower". The bottom part shows a seal with a bored and unimpressed look. The text says, "My physics teacher."

Toast ツ

Guys only want two things in life

A split image. On the left, an anime-style couple is hugging with the text: "Shh... There, there it's alright. There's no need to worry. You don't need to hold your tears back anymore. I love you." On the right, a cat is shown with the text: 你完成了我的命運世界在我裡面展開你完成了我的命運光環走你重按我的命運倒帶我們可以你補充我的位置你補充我的位置來救我

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

man this hits

A social media post from the subreddit r/teenagers with the title: 'Bruh yk what I want?' The post reads: 'Just to be lying down, arms around a girl not just cause she's hot or cute but cause I genuinely care about her and love her and she feels the same way. Just to be like holding her close and maybe stroking her hair. Maybe at one point giving her a soft kiss or two before she'd fall asleep into my arms so I could drift off too. Yes I am cuddle horny.'

Anonymous

The image shows a cartoon character, Arthur, with dark circles under his eyes, looking very tired. The text above the image reads: "friend: how long did you sleep for? me: 8 friend: hours? me: minutes".

LtPancakes98

care to explain bitch? it seems thats what youre good at

The image shows a text box that contains the text "Explain Bear. Alright, listen up, you smoothbrain. You're here 'cause you don't know that Doom Eternal is a first-person shooter, not a driving game. There ain't no cars to customize, see? The image shows a search result mixin' up Doom Eternal with GTA. The car customization is a GTA thing. You got it? You just mixed up two different video games."

Heroin Monkey

A man wearing a balaclava and camouflage clothing stands in a grassy field holding a rifle. Above him is text that reads: "Definitely do not soak a bag of flour in diesel fuel and let it dry for a day or two. And then, by no means, do NOT insert a firecracker into the diesel flour dough. That's redneck C4 and is super duper dangerous."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows Squidward on one side of a brick wall and Spongebob on the other side. Below the image it says: "Two Germans (Eastern and Western) attempt communication across the Berlin Wall. (May 13, 1963) (re-colorized)".

Heroin Monkey

Two cartoon characters, one with orange hair in the passenger seat and the other with red hair driving, are having a conversation. The orange-haired character says, "There is likely no level of trust equal to two cannibals having oral sex." The red-haired character responds, "I worry about you sometimes, Candace."

Nintendo Fan

The image shows a shark in the center, looking straight at the viewer, with two orcas on either side, all in an underwater setting. The text above the image says: "When two people are talking to me at the same time."

TaylorSwiftBoat

Bro how are my favorite rappers gonna make good music if they can’t pop PERKIES

A news article from The New York Times with the headline "E.P.A. Bans Cancer-Causing Chemicals Used in Dry Cleaning". The date is Dec. 9, 2024, 7:26 a.m. ET. It shows an image of a person working in a dry cleaning facility.

AnimeGuy

hmmmmmmmmm

The image shows a scene from Spongebob Squarepants where two characters are looking up with confused expressions. Above them in a thought bubble are three anime characters. There is All Might, then a girl, and on the right side a character with white hair. Below it is written: "Todoroki's last two braincells."

Heroin Monkey

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Wade

I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.

A screenshot of a social media post. The post starts with the text: "I'm asexual!!!! It took me 12 or so years to figure that out. The idea of intercourse between two people disgusts me so much, why would someone do that?" There are two comments below. The first comment says: "Let me guess, you had a 'wait, they're serious about that?? I thought everyone was joking!' moment? :)"

Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
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