Worst Jokes Ever

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Today Memes

✨Jassy✨

Me every day

A dog with its head on the floor near its food bowl. The text on the image says "I JUST CAN'T HANDLE LIFE TODAY".

Heroin Monkey

A text message conversation. It starts with a message from "fbi agent" saying "You welcome, don't mess this up king". Followed by a question "Wyd", the reply "playing xbox with the boys", then "you?" and finally a message saying: "Parents aren't home come over".

Hollow Knight Beater

Hollow Knight Meme

The image shows a Discord message. The user SkinnyBird asks, "Still think Marajuana isn't bad?" followed by two images of the Hollow Knight character. The first character is labeled "No smoke" and is the normal form of the character. The second, below, is labeled "2 smoke" and shows a dramatically transformed and deteriorated form of the character.

King bob

We gonna die today

A news report showing a black rocket launching against a backdrop of orange smoke. The text on the screen includes Korean characters.

Im totally not drunk 2.0

They’re talking abt the Mexican slur 💀

A dark-themed chat with the text: "No, ginger. What even is a uhm, thing with bean in it? Is it like a cult?" The chat is from today at 5:39 PM.

Heroin Monkey

A dog sits at a desk in front of a computer, holding the book 1984 by George Orwell. The text on the image says: "I got banned from twitter today. Time to quote a book I never read."

Adolf kitler

A white fluffy cat with a grumpy expression. Text overlay: "When your human won't feed you for the 42nd time today:"

Heroin Monkey

A plush rat wearing a chef's hat and apron is holding a wooden spoon. The text on the image reads "hey guys what emotion does this image make you feel?", and there are two chat replies: "lust" and "anyone else".

projokes

...

A close-up portrait of a man with a heart tattoo on his face. The text overlay reads: "Rappers today be lookin like a desk in detention".

Anonymous

A screenshot of a Discord message that reads, "Nah but why does your appendix do absolutely nothing and then just try to kill you?"

Heroin Monkey

A cast iron skillet in a dishwasher with yellow and blue bowls. The text overlay reads: "I want to make some strangers on the internet unreasonably mad today, but first I need to put my cast iron skillet in the dishwasher."

Heroin Monkey

A car is missing one tire. A tire is laying on the ground in front of the car. A hand is holding a power tool, likely a grinder, in front of the tire.

Heroin Monkey

A person in a yellow vest with an open mouth is superimposed on an image of space. The image text says "Me when the monkey types out 99% of Shakespeare's literature just to finish it off with "W Gyatt kai Cenat Ohio Rizzler Skibibi fanum Tax did you pray today edger of the sigma" before going back to typing gibberish (I've been waiting 892 trillion years for this)".

AG3.0

Meme for today

The image shows a package of "Pee-Pee Pads" for puppies and dogs. The text on the package reads "ONE SIZE FITS ALL PUPPIES & DOGS. 12 Hour Guaranteed Protection Day or All Night. Pee-Pee Pads."

GG Miller

dum asses

A yellow minion is looking to the left. The text above the minion says: Today I sent out a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" Below the minion, there is another text, which says: 12 people called me... I need smarter friends.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two people, one fat and one skinny. A faucet is pouring water into the fat person's mouth, labeled "mental health support," while a few drops are going toward the skinny person. The fat person is labeled "Woman feeling a bit down today" and the skinny person is labeled "Man who wants to kill himself".

Wade

It’s finally happening…

A picture of a Chuck E. Cheese sign with a news headline saying, "5 children have gone missing inside a Chuck E. Cheese. Parents report smells coming..."

Heroin Monkey

Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

Anonymous

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message is from "Roger from doordash" who asks to pick a number between 1 and 10. The recipient replies with "4". Roger responds "Wrong, no food for u". The recipient then asks "What", "Why", and "Roger please".

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