Today

Today memes

Jokes

Cop

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

Ex

"Hey, today was great."

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car."

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  • Robbery

    Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.