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Death

King bob · 3 years ago

We gonna die today

A news report showing a black rocket launching against a backdrop of orange smoke. The text on the screen includes Korean characters.

Book

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A dog sits at a desk in front of a computer, holding the book 1984 by George Orwell. The text on the image says: "I got banned from twitter today. Time to quote a book I never read."

Cat

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A white fluffy cat with a grumpy expression. Text overlay: "When your human won't feed you for the 42nd time today:"

Tinder

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message reads, "Why you using tinder?" The second message reads, "My boyfriend died last year so I'm just trying to get back in the dating scene really :)" The third message reads, "Damn thats sad." The fourth message reads, "On our first date we should use a ouija board to get his permission to smash." The final message reads, "What the fuck is wrong with you."

Phone

GG Miller · 3 years ago

dum asses

A yellow minion is looking to the left. The text above the minion says: Today I sent out a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" Below the minion, there is another text, which says: 12 people called me... I need smarter friends.

Mental Health

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows two people, one fat and one skinny. A faucet is pouring water into the fat person's mouth, labeled "mental health support," while a few drops are going toward the skinny person. The fat person is labeled "Woman feeling a bit down today" and the skinny person is labeled "Man who wants to kill himself".

Size

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Meme for today

The image shows a package of "Pee-Pee Pads" for puppies and dogs. The text on the package reads "ONE SIZE FITS ALL PUPPIES & DOGS. 12 Hour Guaranteed Protection Day or All Night. Pee-Pee Pads."

Food

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message is from "Roger from doordash" who asks to pick a number between 1 and 10. The recipient replies with "4". Roger responds "Wrong, no food for u". The recipient then asks "What", "Why", and "Roger please".

Robbery

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange. In the first message, the sender says, "You a pussy ass nigga." The recipient replies, "Who is this?" The sender responds, "The nigga you robbed." The recipient claims it's the "wrong number". The sender says "Get that nigga cuh" and the recipient says "I'm trying."

Child

Wade · 2 years ago

It’s finally happening…

A picture of a Chuck E. Cheese sign with a news headline saying, "5 children have gone missing inside a Chuck E. Cheese. Parents report smells coming..."

Motivation

✨Jassy✨ · 2 years ago

Me today and everyday in existence

Two cats lying down, seemingly exhausted. One cat is leaning against the wall, with its mouth open. The text on the image says: "When you need to clean but have no motivation so you just sit there for a while like".

Autocorrect

Anonymous · 2 years ago

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

Group

Enraged Reindeer · 3 months ago

Two panels comparing neo-nazi groups from 50 years ago to today. The top panel is labeled "Neonazi Groups 50 years ago" and shows a group of people whose faces are covered by flags of mostly Western countries like the UK, Germany, Norway, Finland, Canada, Switzerland, and Italy. The bottom panel is labeled "Neonazi Groups today" and shows a larger group of people whose faces are covered by flags from all over the world, including Turkey, Pakistan, Israel, Ukraine, Brazil, France, and Morocco, with one person's face covered by the text "(black)".

Kid

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A dog's face is shown in an upward-looking shot. Above, the following text is written: "Teacher: Today we will... Kid named the socioeconomic state of Sudan:"

AI

Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

Vitamin

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

Two tubes of Burt's Bees lip balm are superimposed in front of a grim reaper image, with the text "today I will eat two charpstick" at the bottom.

Idea

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Genuine question to you all

The image is a table with the title "How are you still alive!?" There are eight numbered rows, each with a different answer: #1 "I'm not." #2 "I HAVE NO IDEA!" #3 "I had to go to work today." #4 "I'm doing science and I'm still alive." #5 "Too much swag." #6 "$7.52". #7 "yro'ue" and #8 "Spite". There's a signature "Bc" in the top right corner.

Reminder

Siri_the_Robot · 7 months ago

Do it

A meme consisting of text and a screenshot of a phone notification. The top text reads: "Me: Siri remind me to dye my hair tomorrow please. Siri next morning:". Below this is a screenshot of an iPhone notification from the Reminders app, dated 12:00 PM and labeled "now". The reminder text is: "Die today".

Vibrator

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A banner that says "VIBRATOR RACES TODAY" hangs over a booth where multiple vibrators are laid out on a table.

Gulag

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a headline from an Op-Ed piece with a picture of an old wooden cabin and a man with a white beard. The text reads: "Op-Ed: Today's Youth Simply Don't Have The Work Ethic To Build The Gulags Needed For Their Communist Ideals."

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