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Meme for today

The image shows a package of "Pee-Pee Pads" for puppies and dogs. The text on the package reads "ONE SIZE FITS ALL PUPPIES & DOGS. 12 Hour Guaranteed Protection Day or All Night. Pee-Pee Pads."

Phone

dum asses

A yellow minion is looking to the left. The text above the minion says: Today I sent out a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" Below the minion, there is another text, which says: 12 people called me... I need smarter friends.

Mental Health

The image shows two people, one fat and one skinny. A faucet is pouring water into the fat person's mouth, labeled "mental health support," while a few drops are going toward the skinny person. The fat person is labeled "Woman feeling a bit down today" and the skinny person is labeled "Man who wants to kill himself".

Child

It’s finally happening…

A picture of a Chuck E. Cheese sign with a news headline saying, "5 children have gone missing inside a Chuck E. Cheese. Parents report smells coming..."

Motivation

Me today and everyday in existence

Two cats lying down, seemingly exhausted. One cat is leaning against the wall, with its mouth open. The text on the image says: "When you need to clean but have no motivation so you just sit there for a while like".

Robbery

A screenshot of a text message exchange. In the first message, the sender says, "You a pussy ass nigga." The recipient replies, "Who is this?" The sender responds, "The nigga you robbed." The recipient claims it's the "wrong number". The sender says "Get that nigga cuh" and the recipient says "I'm trying."

Autocorrect

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

Food

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message is from "Roger from doordash" who asks to pick a number between 1 and 10. The recipient replies with "4". Roger responds "Wrong, no food for u". The recipient then asks "What", "Why", and "Roger please".

Message

The image shows a series of repeated text messages. The first message is "Check out this meme", which is followed by "I saw that earlier". This pattern is repeated several times in a messaging app format with some nesting of message threads.

Gulag

The image shows a headline from an Op-Ed piece with a picture of an old wooden cabin and a man with a white beard. The text reads: "Op-Ed: Today's Youth Simply Don't Have The Work Ethic To Build The Gulags Needed For Their Communist Ideals."

Idea

Genuine question to you all

The image is a table with the title "How are you still alive!?" There are eight numbered rows, each with a different answer: #1 "I'm not." #2 "I HAVE NO IDEA!" #3 "I had to go to work today." #4 "I'm doing science and I'm still alive." #5 "Too much swag." #6 "$7.52". #7 "yro'ue" and #8 "Spite". There's a signature "Bc" in the top right corner.

Vibrator

A banner that says "VIBRATOR RACES TODAY" hangs over a booth where multiple vibrators are laid out on a table.

Kid

A dog's face is shown in an upward-looking shot. Above, the following text is written: "Teacher: Today we will... Kid named the socioeconomic state of Sudan:"

Vitamin

Shitpost-master general

Two tubes of Burt's Bees lip balm are superimposed in front of a grim reaper image, with the text "today I will eat two charpstick" at the bottom.

Fleshlight

A timeline shows that the most important events in history include the invention of the wheel and fire in the past, and the fleshlight today.

Emotion

Me bitchhhhhhhhh

A young boy with brown hair smirks slightly at the camera with the caption "guess who's feeling extra emotionally unstable today"

Lawyer

MORE DAD JOKES

Toaster

A screenshot of a message request from the user "Local_toaster_fucker" saying "Check your toaster." The options are to accept or ignore the request.

Memes

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

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