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Worst Jokes Ever

Though Memes

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Google search for "who is the villain in Cars 4." Below the search bar is an image of a tan car with eyes and a mouth, wearing a red military hat. Underneath the image, the text reads "SEDAN HUSSEIN. Sedan Hussein is the main antagonist of Cars 4 and the ruthless Car Dictator of Iwreq. He was heavily involved in the plot to Cars 2 though he was never mentioned by name. He is the..."

Tsukuyomi

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Why should you care

A split image. On the left is a screenshot from a video game with a character walking near a small structure that might be a doghouse. A creature that resembles a dog is running near the character. The text says: "Probably a doghouse, though I'm not sure since there's no dog around." On the right, there is a red die with the number 1 on top. The text reads: "ME A HALFLING: YES! I CAN REROLL. ME: ....".

Why should you care

The image shows two panels. The top left panel has a photo of a car bumper with a sticker saying 'ADULTS ON BOARD WE WANT TO LIVE TOO'. The bottom left panel shows a man with a sly smile saying 'Do we though?' On the right is a text post saying 'What doesn't end you only makes you develop a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.'

Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

Heroin Monkey

Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1

Heroin Monkey

Sarah
Chongalongadong
when you hug a guy and you
smell his colon
11/7/14, 2:36 AM from Queens, NY
tayLORD.
ErykanBaDent
When you can still smell his colon
on your pillows even though he's
not there >>>>>>>>
@RichOrb
I love when I can smell a guy's
colon as he walks by
7/14/14, 10:13 AM
jen
basedgin
Stylish Sweetheart
KAY5wEels
after you hug a boy and you smell
like his colon <33
I smell like his colon now
11/12/14 1:16 PM

♡𝓅𝒶𝓁

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The title reads "sounds about right. Fucking typical. This is how it goes with anyone I talk to". The thread shows a user asking to name two hip-hop artists so they can be compared. The first response is asking whether they meant "Aesop rock or Lupe fiasco". Then there's a response that claims that Lupe is better as a lyricist. Another user asks if they meant "aesop rock or asap rocky" because they are different rappers, to which the user replies he meant asap and that he never actually listened to Aesop rock.

Thoughtless

experiment

The post is a text-based message with several paragraphs detailing a hypothetical scenario involving gorillas and drugs in a shopping mall.

Wade

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

Mafuyu Asahina

You are the special

The image shows Emmet Brickowski from The Lego Movie. The text overlay reads, "Me asking my dad how I got 100% on the Autism Test even though I didn't practice for it: ...because you are The Special."

DaRey1Cray

help pls find my dawg

A flyer with the text "I lost my bitchass dog again. He's ugly as fuck and keeps running away but I still love him, plus I already bought him shit and I don't wanna return the stuff. Please bring him back, his name is Señor Woofers. He probably won't respond to it cus he's a fake lil bitch though. Please contact me at 661-440-5950 or booteyeater6969@gmail.com. Reward: $5ish maybe." Below the text is a picture of a small dog with a brown wig.

Jazzy💕

Fr though

The image shows Baby Yoda looking a bit skeptical or unimpressed. Above the image, there is text that reads, "Friend: I thought you said you were gonna go on a new diet, when you gonna start? Me: The 1st of NEVERUARY."

Wade

I guess all humans are bisexual because it’s “the default”

A post on a social media platform with the title "Normal" and an emoji of a waste bin. There are two comments below. One user named Lex suggests that there is no normal, only a majority. The second user named A Wild Bean suggests that bisexuality is the human default.

𝖚𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖟

true though

The image is a four-panel comparison of the character Captain Price from the "Call of Duty" game franchise in various games. The panels are labeled "COD 1", "COD 2", "MW2", and "MW3". The text on the image reads "HE NEVER GETS OLD".

Toast ツ

A screenshot of a comment section on a website. The comments feature a back-and-forth between multiple users including Jake, amyyy342, Toast4128, and Wade.

ADHD autist

@iamloser I did something similar! 😏 took me three tries though.

A square with the number 6 and a 3D shape with the number 9.

killer of bears 101

true though

The image shows two side-by-side images of Gordon Ramsay. The left image shows him talking to a girl and says: 'So I'm not leaving until you laugh'. The right image shows a close-up of Gordon Ramsay looking angry and says: 'Hey, panini head, are you even listening to me?' Above the two pictures is the text: 'how I spoke to my best friend when we first met vs how I speak to her now.'

killer of bears 101

so true though

The image is a split panel comparing how a woman says goodbye to friends and best friends. On the left, she is waving goodbye with a smile, with the text "how I say bye to my friends". On the right, she's giving the middle finger with a stern look, with the text "how I say bye to my best friends".

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