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Text message

148 views · Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation on a dark blue background. The messages are in light blue bubbles from one sender and light grey bubbles from a second sender. The conversation starts with one sender asking to meet, then expressing joy with '*blushes*' and '*jumps with joy*', and finally sending '*cums*'. The other sender responds with 'Yeah when tho', 'stop that please', and a threatening message beginning with 'Nigga, I will rape you'.

Vr

43 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A screenshot of comments on a social media platform. The first comment praises VR for experiences like boxing, zombie apocalypse, lightsaber fights, and 'porn' (represented by a corn emoji). A reply asks 'Which porn?' The original commenter responds, explaining they accidentally clicked 'for women' thinking it was 'four women' and ended up with a 'boner' (represented by an eggplant emoji) in their virtual face, describing it as the 'Gayest experience' of their life.

Villain

54 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search for "who is the villain in Cars 4." Below the search bar is an image of a tan car with eyes and a mouth, wearing a red military hat. Underneath the image, the text reads "SEDAN HUSSEIN. Sedan Hussein is the main antagonist of Cars 4 and the ruthless Car Dictator of Iwreq. He was heavily involved in the plot to Cars 2 though he was never mentioned by name. He is the..."

Man

73 views · Apollo · 1 year ago

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Dog

Why should you care · 1 year ago

A split image. On the left is a screenshot from a video game with a character walking near a small structure that might be a doghouse. A creature that resembles a dog is running near the character. The text says: "Probably a doghouse, though I'm not sure since there's no dog around." On the right, there is a red die with the number 1 on top. The text reads: "ME A HALFLING: YES! I CAN REROLL. ME: ....".

Adult

10 views · Why should you care · 1 year ago

The image shows two panels. The top left panel has a photo of a car bumper with a sticker saying 'ADULTS ON BOARD WE WANT TO LIVE TOO'. The bottom left panel shows a man with a sly smile saying 'Do we though?' On the right is a text post saying 'What doesn't end you only makes you develop a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.'

Parody

11 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a journal entry, drawn in the style of 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' The narrator, Greg Heffley, writes about his brother Manny. A comic strip illustrates Manny asking for help to tie his shoes in baby talk ("I'm onwee thwee, bubby! Hewp me tie my gawddayum shoes."). Greg responds in a speech bubble ("DATS FOWR NAWT TEACHING ME HOW TWO TIE MY SHOES, YOU FUCKING PLOOPY."). Below, Greg is shown kicking Manny, who flies into a wall causing cracks. The text continues with a consequence from Mom, where she shoots Greg in both legs, breaking his kneecaps.

Diary entry

23 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

Snitch

67 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' style book. The text entry from Monday, December, reads, 'Today was fucking dreadful. Me and the boys were just watching porn on the school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful. You know how it goes, though. There's always some bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the fun.' Below the text is a cartoon drawing of a computer lab. Three boys are at computers. A girl, Patty, points at one boy (Greg) and shouts, 'GREG IS WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, MR JIZZLE!' Another boy, Greg's friend, yells, 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' The text continues below the drawing: 'The next time I see Patty, I swear to god, that snitch is fucking dead.'

Colon

73 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A compilation of five tweets. The top left tweet by Sarah says: 'when you hug a guy and you smell his colon 💕'. The top right tweet by tayLORD says: 'When you can still smell his colon on your pillows even though he's not there >>>>>'. The large central tweet by RichOrb says: 'I love when I can smell a guy's colon as he walks by 😍'. The bottom left tweet by jen says: 'after you hug a boy and you smell like his colon <33'. The bottom right tweet by Stylish Sweetheart says: 'I smell like his colon now ♡'. The tweets all mistakenly use the word 'colon' instead of 'cologne'.

Rapper

3 views · RapBoat · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The title reads "sounds about right. Fucking typical. This is how it goes with anyone I talk to". The thread shows a user asking to name two hip-hop artists so they can be compared. The first response is asking whether they meant "Aesop rock or Lupe fiasco". Then there's a response that claims that Lupe is better as a lyricist. Another user asks if they meant "aesop rock or asap rocky" because they are different rappers, to which the user replies he meant asap and that he never actually listened to Aesop rock.

Gorilla

97 views · Thoughtless · 2 years ago

experiment

The post is a text-based message with several paragraphs detailing a hypothetical scenario involving gorillas and drugs in a shopping mall.

College

59 views · Wade · 2 years ago

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

Autism test

44 views · Mafuyu Asahina · 2 years ago

You are the special

The image shows Emmet Brickowski from The Lego Movie. The text overlay reads, "Me asking my dad how I got 100% on the Autism Test even though I didn't practice for it: ...because you are The Special."

Dog

49 views · R3Y · 2 years ago

help pls find my dawg

A flyer with the text "I lost my bitchass dog again. He's ugly as fuck and keeps running away but I still love him, plus I already bought him shit and I don't wanna return the stuff. Please bring him back, his name is Señor Woofers. He probably won't respond to it cus he's a fake lil bitch though. Please contact me at 661-440-5950 or booteyeater6969@gmail.com. Reward: $5ish maybe." Below the text is a picture of a small dog with a brown wig.

Diet

14 views · Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago

Fr though

The image shows Baby Yoda looking a bit skeptical or unimpressed. Above the image, there is text that reads, "Friend: I thought you said you were gonna go on a new diet, when you gonna start? Me: The 1st of NEVERUARY."

Human

4 views · Wade · 2 years ago

I guess all humans are bisexual because it’s “the default”

A post on a social media platform with the title "Normal" and an emoji of a waste bin. There are two comments below. One user named Lex suggests that there is no normal, only a majority. The second user named A Wild Bean suggests that bisexuality is the human default.

Cod

13 views · 𝖚𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖟 · 2 years ago

true though

The image is a four-panel comparison of the character Captain Price from the "Call of Duty" game franchise in various games. The panels are labeled "COD 1", "COD 2", "MW2", and "MW3". The text on the image reads "HE NEVER GETS OLD".

Nose

18 views · Toast ツ · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a comment section on a website. The comments feature a back-and-forth between multiple users including Jake, amyyy342, Toast4128, and Wade.

Number

ADHD autist · 2 years ago

@iamloser I did something similar! 😏 took me three tries though.

A square with the number 6 and a 3D shape with the number 9.

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