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Hand

286 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a pink-shirted man tells a blue-hoodie man, "Oh, I don't shake hands. I'm a germaphobe." In the second panel, the pink-shirted man asks, "How 'bout a fist-bump!" as they perform a fist-bump. In the third panel, a green-shirted man approaches the blue-hoodie man, who is walking away, and asks, "Dude! Was that anal-fisting-porn-star legend, Johnny Shit-Knuckles?!" The pink-shirted man looks on in surprise. In the fourth panel, the pink-shirted man has a look of extreme horror and disgust, realizing who he just fist-bumped.

Wish

547 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man wearing a green hat with an "L" on it looks surprised. The text says, "The genie after I ask that my third wish to be another blowjob."

List

1,691 views · Thoughtless · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a series of tweets. The first tweet is from Santa Decides stating that Technoblade is on the nice list and Dream is on the naughty list. The second tweet by essaHQ mentions Technoblade's sword, the "orphan obliterator". The third tweet by milk says that the sword is the reason why he is on the nice list. The fourth tweet is by Vossl who says to bless Technoblade for reuniting the orphans with their parents.

Week

14 views · Jenny 😂 · 3 years ago

A bar graph showing how one finds lost items. The x-axis has three categories: "by searching for them", "forgetting and finding them a week later", and "MAMAAAAAA!". The y-axis shows the frequency of each occurrence with "MAMAAAAAA!" being the most common.

Car

18 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A pregnancy test shows a car engine icon instead of a positive result. Below, text says: "Fuq. That's right. We're having a 2009 Honda civic."

Walmart

26 views · ✨Jassy✨ · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One message says, "Come on, I wasn't THAT drunk was I?" The other says, "Dude, in WalMart when the intercom thing came on you dropped to your knees and screamed, 'THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!'" The first person then replies, "...Awesome"

Selfie

34 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A vertical meme layout with three sections. The top section contains text. The middle section shows a picture of a serious-looking Black man holding a white cup. The bottom section contains two comments. The top text reads: "Man legally changes name to 'Big Dick' so that 'these niggas will keep my name out they mouth'". The first comment reads: "He taken a selfie with a security cam?". The second comment reads: "The energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful. Truly he is one we must fear."

Job

13 views · ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · 3 years ago

Work

The image shows a six-panel meme. The first panel says "life after college". The following panels show a back and forth between two men. The first man states: "I need a job." The second man replies: "You don't have experience." The first man then says: "But I need to work to get experience". The second man replies: "Then work." The first man says: "That's why I'm here", and the second man replies: "Experience". In the final panel, the first man throws a chair and says: "How am I gonna get experience without a work" while the second man replies: "Work."

Teacher

19 views · PurplePanda · 3 years ago

when ur bored in class so u post this and people start comenting the best shit

A screenshot of a comment section, where a user expresses frustration about a teacher who won't stop talking. Other users respond with crude suggestions to shut her up.

Car

20 views · ✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Like if you can relate and comment if you think this is funny

The image consists of two panels. The top panel shows a text saying "7 y/o me in my dad's car: Dad, I wanna turn on the light. Can I press this button?" with an image of a hand about to press a car light button. The bottom panel shows a text saying "My dad:" with an image of the character Rocket Racoon from the movie Guardians of the Galaxy saying "No!! That's the button that will kill everyone".

YouTube Video

352 views · Gummy gummy gummy bear · 3 months ago

💀

A meme showing a text dialog where a mother says 'you can watch one more YouTube video before bed.' Underneath is a screenshot of a YouTube video featuring Woody from Toy Story. The title of the video is an absurdly long, nested list of conditions involving Ice Age, Toy Story, YouTube, The Simpsons, Bee Movie, and SpongeBob. The progress bar shows a timestamp composed of an impossible, extremely long string of numbers.

Girlfriend

13 views · Anonymous · 3 years ago

GF be like...

A woman with wide eyes and a big smile has the text 'Whos that bitch on your phone named MOM? I DONT LIKE HER' overlayed on the image.

Song

11 views · Wade · 2 years ago

The image shows a Twitter thread. The first tweet says "this mf dropped one song and dipped". There is an image of a man with a cracked effect on the right side of his face. The second tweet says "who tf is this" and the third "somebody that we used to know".

Toilet

12 views · Wade · 2 years ago

A message exchange shows the text 'I threw up in the toilet'. The second message says 'You ok?'. In response to that message, there is an image of the movie 'Up' inside of a toilet bowl. The last message says 'You're getting blocked if you keep that up'.

Winnie the Pooh

8 views · Anonymous · 3 years ago

A meme featuring two images of Winnie the Pooh. The first image shows Winnie with a neutral expression next to the word "no". The second image shows Winnie in a tuxedo with a sly smile, next to the text: "I would like to imply that I will not adhere to thy henceforth vexingly dull-witted proposition."

Song

17 views · Wade · 1 year ago

Food

20 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A multiple choice question about food that grows on trees. The options include pizza, carrots, apples, oranges, coconuts and cake. Pizza, carrots and cake are marked as correct choices.

Dick

23 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

Just saying...mine is 13 and a half 😉

A pie chart shows who uses the phrase "Suck my dick." A tiny portion is attributed to 'Boys' and the rest is attributed to 'Girls'.

Femboy

300 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An M&M cartoon character with a sad face and brown stains on its head with the text: "THAT FEMBOY WASNT LYING. THAT BUSSY CAN SQUIRT."

Social medium

14 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image is a split panel. The top panel is a scene from Dragon Ball Z where Goku is looking at a smaller figure standing on a rock and saying 'Let's fight somewhere empty'. Below is a screenshot of a Wikipedia page titled 'List of social media sites that do not access private user data' with an image of Goku and Vegeta fighting.

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