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Newness Memes

Heroin Monkey

A woman's mugshot below a newspaper headline that reads, "'Long Live Chairman Mao!' woman shouts as she decapitates her landlord with a Samurai Sword for raising her rent."

Daddy dick

Repost from my friends account

A picture of a news report at night, with police and firetrucks visible. On the right, a mugshot of Ian, the person who was arrested. The text reads: Breaking news. Ian arrested for breaking into homes and tickling butthole!

Anonymous

Sniffs kids

The image shows a toy action figure box with the text SLEEPY JOE ACTION FIGURE written on it. Inside the box, there is a depiction of Joe Biden with his head slumped forward. Below it, the text reads BATTERIES *NOT* INCLUDED and a warning that the item contains socialism. Below that in a separate text box, is the text JUST ADD AAA BATTERIES AND HE SHITS HIS PANTS. In the upper right corner it reads NEW FOR CHRISTMAS: THE SLEEP JOE INACTION FIGURE. There is a red and white target circle with a blue dart to the right of the figure box.

αmy

i know what i’m naming my child

A Google search results page for the search term "p girl names." The results include typical names like "Paige," "Patricia," and "Penelope," but also lists "Pakistan International Airlines."

IZABELLA💖💖

...

Jadenisuseless

Out in new whip

TechPriestGotDrip

Man I hate it when companies do this crap, now you can't commit toaster bath anymore

A silver toaster is floating in space with a galaxy background. Text is written over the image: "New waterproof toaster."

Chri5

We are getting rather close guys.

The image shows a screenshot of a news article about a clock in New York that now displays the time remaining instead of the current time. Below is the Tom cat from Tom and Jerry looking confused with the text "hol up".

𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘

saddest youtube comment :(

A text-based image displaying a story in a format similar to a forum post. It starts with the user detailing an event from when they were younger where their mom and sister had gone out to get groceries, and they were doing chores. While doing chores, they watched the news and saw a report of a local woman and daughter getting killed in a car accident. They then write about finding a note from their mom telling them they could play their game console before she came back. The post ends with them mentioning she never came home.

The Banana Guy

The meme consists of four panels. Each panel shows a person with the British flag over their face. The first panel reads, "Create colonies on new continent." The second panel reads, "Tax the colonies to pay for your empire." The third and fourth panels read, "Lose to the colonies in a war."

Heroin Monkey

A tweet shows a school board proposing a list of names for a school. These names include "Drew Brees Elementary", "Bruce Lee Elementary", "John Cena Elementary School", "Adolf Hitler School for Friendship and Tolerance", and "Schoolie McSchoolface". The tweet comments, "This is what happens when you let the students submit new names for their school."

Heroin Monkey

Anonymous

The image is divided into two parts. On the left, a screenshot of a BBC News search result with an orange cat and the text: "What makes ginger tom cats so adventurous?". On the right, a black-and-white image of a smiling, muscular man with a strong jawline. Above the two images, there's a text saying: "Difference? I think not".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a group of soldiers in military gear, with one soldier aiming a rifle around a corner. Below this image, there is a news banner that reads, "Breaking News. Live. Due to a decrease in cookie sales, the Girl Scouts switch to a more aggressive sales campaign."

Heroin Monkey

A hand holds a toy in its packaging. The packaging is for "Avengers Age of Ultron", but inside, there is a figure of Luigi.

LtPancakes98

i keep asking explain bear to make me welcome since im new but why dont you

Two men are handling a pot in a basin. A close-up of a man's bulging belly is shown below. The text says: "I don't know what they cooking but that tummy looks happy as hell."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Prisoners 'could serve 1,000 year sentence in eight hours'" followed by the text: "Future biotechnology could be used to make prisoners feel as if they were serving a 1,000 year sentence, a team of scientists claim". Below, Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" is sitting in a chair with the text: "ah sweet man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" above him.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a split-screen. On the left, a man is being arrested by two police officers. On the right, there is a collapsed parking garage with cars scattered among the debris. The text overlay at the top reads, 'New York man arrested in connection of parking garage collapse after giving homeless people pickaxes and telling them there was a lost crack stash'.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a screenshot of a Google ban message stating "You have been banned from Google" and that access may be restored on June 26, 2033. Below is a blurry close-up of a man's face looking surprised or shocked.

Adolf kitler

I’m new

A white kitten with black markings on its face, a small dark patch under its nose resembling a mustache, and black patch over its left eyebrow. Text below the kitten says "Lil Adolf Kitler".

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