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Newness memes

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Sentence

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Prisoners 'could serve 1,000 year sentence in eight hours'" followed by the text: "Future biotechnology could be used to make prisoners feel as if they were serving a 1,000 year sentence, a team of scientists claim". Below, Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" is sitting in a chair with the text: "ah sweet man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" above him.

Man

The image shows a split-screen. On the left, a man is being arrested by two police officers. On the right, there is a collapsed parking garage with cars scattered among the debris. The text overlay at the top reads, 'New York man arrested in connection of parking garage collapse after giving homeless people pickaxes and telling them there was a lost crack stash'.

Google

The image shows a screenshot of a Google ban message stating "You have been banned from Google" and that access may be restored on June 26, 2033. Below is a blurry close-up of a man's face looking surprised or shocked.

JFK

A photo of John F. Kennedy holding a futuristic rifle. In the background is a blue sign saying "A NEW JFK is coming". The text "John F. Revengeddy" is placed at the bottom of the image.

Corner

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Car

my new car

A selfie of a pilot in front of an airplane window showing the sky, an ocean, and some islands in the background. The pilot wears a white uniform shirt, a striped tie, and yellow sunglasses. The post caption says "my new car".

Ohio

Just wanna repost from my old account

A news headline states "The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit Has Escaped Custody And Being Hunted By Police." Below the text there is an image with police cars and emergency lights as well as a mugshot of a man with wide eyes and a shocked expression. The news source is attributed to timw_brap, and the post date is January 8, 2016.

Tragedy

omg im sobbing so hard, saddest yt comment ever bro, challenge, find a sadder one

A screenshot of a YouTube comment. It tells a story about a person whose mother and sister die in a car accident. After some time, they open their old PS2 and find a note from their mom stating that they can play after the chores are done. She also writes that she loves them. The commenter notes that the mother never came home and they never received their hugs and kisses.

Florida Man

Oop

A tweet from CBS News stating that a Florida man was arrested for kidnapping 27 people and forcing them to play Yahtzee for 36 hours straight. The tweet includes the man's mugshot.

Children

hmmmmmm 🤑

The image shows a screenshot of a Google search bar where the word "children" is typed, and the "Shopping" tab is highlighted. Below the search bar is a picture of Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher, looking suspicious with the word "Hmm" written in white on the image.

Election

Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.

A news article with the headline: 4D Chess: Democrats Admit Trump Actually Won In 2020 And Is Now Unable To Serve Third Term. Below the headline is the text: POLITICS - Nov 7, 2024 - BabylonBee.com. Underneath is an image of several politicians standing at a podium with the US flag behind them. The woman at the podium is speaking.

Wheel

Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context

A screenshot of a website called "wheelofnames.com" with a wheel. The sections of the wheel contain: priest, prostitute, autistic, racist, transphobic, porn, woman, and shooting. To the right of the wheel there is a list with the same words. The text on top of the wheel says "The world stands with Ukraine". The website offers a feature to spin the wheel from within Discord.

Friend

New friend new, new Website, new child porn

A person dressed as Barney the Dinosaur is hugging a child in front of a tan brick wall.

New Year

Happy New Year!

Michael Scott from The Office is doing the 'rock on' hand gesture with both hands. The text says: "Happy New Year!".

Kanye West

In a shot with a wide, eye-level perspective, a man is pictured with a stern look. He is wearing a gray T-shirt and horizontally striped blue and white shorts. His left arm is held out to his side with the hand bent down while his right arm is extended to his right. In the background is a tiled floor and a light brown wooden cabinet on a wall that slopes inward from right to left. The text above the man reads: "POV: Kanye West gifting Bianca a new outfit."

Florida Man

The top image shows two Coast Guard officers standing on a boat, looking at a person in a large inflatable bubble. The bottom image has a young man with a questioning expression. The text reads: "Florida Man Who Tried to 'Run' to Bermuda in Inflatable Bubble Rescued by Coast Guard, Again. AGAIN...?"

Memes

Squidward

I love photo shop

A picture of Squidward with text saying: On May 19, 1996, Squidward (pictured here in 1973) became the first person on the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list to be apprehended due to the FBI's then-new home page on the Internet.

Release

The image shows a split-screen of a woman's face. On the left, her expression is a grimace, with her mouth downturned, eyes squinted, and a general look of disgust. On the right, she has a neutral look on her face, with slightly raised eyebrows and a more composed expression. Text above the left image reads "Me listening to the new release the first time". Text above the right image reads "Me listening to the new release the seventeenth time".

Story

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

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