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Shitpost master-general
3 months ago
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A close-up photograph shows a rectangular loaf of bread resting on a table surface. The bread is charred black, but bright orange and red light glows intensely through deep cracks in the surface, making it look like a piece of cooling lava or magma. The caption at the bottom reads, "Burnt my bread a little".
  • 5
  • what’s dudeese
    3 months ago
    An artistic illustration of a large, brown Tyrannosaurus Rex standing in a prehistoric landscape under a blue sky. Smaller horned creatures graze in the background. White text centered over the T-Rex reads: "I was born in 200-"
  • 0
  • what’s dudeese
    3 months ago
    A screenshot of an exchange in a comment section. The first user, "Silver King," posts a sequence of emojis including an Orthodox cross, a Transgender flag, a call-me hand, a Moai statue, a second Orthodox cross, a second call-me hand, and a Rainbow flag. The second user, "Cypher Creator," replies with a similar sequence, replacing the flags with an Atom symbol and replacing the final Orthodox cross with a Latin cross. Silver King then replies to Cypher with the text: "too far bro."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A screenshot mimicking the Steam store interface. At the top, white text reads, "BECAUSE YOU PLAYED RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2." Below is the box art for the video game "Disney G-FORCE," showing a smiling, anthropomorphic hamster wearing goggles and holding a futuristic gun. The price is listed as A$ 28.95. Below the title art are several genre tags: Third-Person Shooter, Hentai, Masterpiece, and Cold War.
  • 0
  • mal
    3 months ago
    A drawn scene of two men facing each other. The man on the left, labeled "BART," is wearing an orange shirt and defensively holding up his arms and hands. The man on the right, labeled "BARTENDER," is wearing a gray hoodie, has a receding hairline, and is threatening "BART" with a small knife.
  • 1
  • THE RIZZLER
    3 months ago

    flying into that girl booty

    A promotional video game style graphic showing an animated, falling figure resembling Tyler, the Creator wearing a green baseball cap and a white GOLF shirt. He is falling through a colorful, swirling pink and blue abstract background, accompanied by a giant black insect and a small, yellow, cartoonish character. Stylized pink text is visible in the background. In the bottom right corner is the ESRB rating logo reading "TEEN T, Content Rated by ESRB." A small disclaimer below the central figure reads, "Not actual gameplay footage. In-game purchase required."
  • 0
  • daddy likes men
    3 months ago
    A close-up of a highly distorted, dark-skinned male face with large, round features, thick lips, and a thin mustache. The figure is wearing a reddish-brown, chin-length wig. The eyes are rolled upwards and to the right, conveying a suspicious or judgmental side-eye glance. The background is a textured tan or brown wall.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A blue-filtered, distressed anime drawing of a person sitting and covering their head in despair. Overlayed text reads: "Being a guy is crazy cuz the moment you turn 13, you're competing with President of United States Bill Clinton 💀💀".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A view from inside a car looking out onto a multi-lane highway on an overcast day. A large red octagonal stop sign, attached to a bent piece of metal, is lodged on the front of the vehicle, partially obstructing the driver's view. Traffic is visible ahead. The caption reads: 'Gang am I still supposed to stop 😂😭'.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Simple, right?

    A top-down view of a long, white, concrete spiral stairwell. The character Kermit the Frog is shown blurred and falling down the stairwell. Text near Kermit reads "9/11 victim," and text at the bottom center reads "Floor."
  • 0
  • DAP ME UP
    3 months ago

    Has anyone ever opened a pop like this supposedly holds a straw

    A dimly lit, low-angle image showing an open can of Dr Pepper resting on a light wood surface. The can's pull tab is rotated over the drink opening, illustrating the supposed method for securing a drinking straw. In the background, there is a piece of paper with blue and yellow coloring and a white tiled wall.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A four-panel comic strip contrasting the Irish Republican Army (IRA) with Individual Retirement Arrangement (IRA) financial experts. In the top panel, three masked figures, one holding a rifle and one wearing a beret, ask, 'Where are the English?' A woman in glasses and pearls asks them, 'Who are you guys? I thought I hired IRA experts?' In the bottom panel, the same masked figure is being questioned by three men in suits and glasses. One of the men asks, 'So Sir, what was your yearly income?' The masked figure replies, 'Who the feck are you guys? I thought I hired IRA?'
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A photograph of a television screen showing the streaming service Tubi. The movie displayed is titled "Osombie," listed as 2012, 1 hr 35 min, TV-MA, Action, Horror. The synopsis reads: "While in Afghanistan, a Colorado yoga instructor and a NATO special forces team encounter an undead Osama Bin-Laden and his zombie terrorist army." The movie poster image shows the zombie Osama Bin-Laden with glowing blue eyes and a beard. Over the image, text says, "tubi genuinely be having anything."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A first-person perspective of a person holding a sandwich made of white bread, ketchup, and cigarette butts. The photo is taken over a toilet, where one of the person's feet, wearing a sock and a slide, is submerged in the toilet bowl. A caption at the bottom reads: 'y'all already know wtf going on'. A watermark for @NEXUSHH is visible on the person's footwear.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A close-up side view of a silver car's window and door. Through the window, a person is seen holding a dark running shoe up to their mouth, appearing to put it inside. Red circles and arrows highlight the side mirror and a magnified view of its reflection. The reflection shows a normal scene of trees and a road, contrasting with the bizarre action visible through the car window.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A screenshot of a Duolingo language learning exercise. On the left is a cartoon man with a blue turban and a large black beard. The instruction at the top says 'NEW WORD' and 'Translate this sentence'. The Japanese sentence to be translated is '大統領はもうけることばかり考える男だ。'. Below it, the correct English translation is formed with word bubbles: 'The president is a man who only thinks about making money'.
  • 1
  • mal
    3 months ago
    A screenshot from a video game, possibly Roblox, showing the character 'The Lorax' with a shocked expression. Above the character, two chat bubbles contain text. The first chat bubble says 'i like fem boys'. The second chat bubble says 'when i see them i let it grow'.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Kaboom

    A close-up image of a smiling man with a long, grey beard and a turban. Overlaying text reads: 'PEOPLE ASK ME, "ACHMED, WHAT MAKES YOU TICK?" AND I TELL THEM, "THE TIMER."'.
  • 0
  • K!ttyy
    3 months ago

    im so smart guys

    A light green-yellow rectangular box with dark gray text on a black background. The text reads: 'Congratulations! You have completed 40 questions in 58 attempts.'
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