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Offer

54 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A screenshot of an online marketplace interface. The text reads: "Your offer wasn't accepted. Make a new offer?" Below that, the item's "Price" is listed as "US $350.00", the "Previous Offer" as "US $20.00", and the "Message from seller" states: "You should be shot."

Computer

115 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A classroom scene where a projector displays an image of a muscular man smiling, holding up his foot which is covered in a brown spread resembling Nutella, next to a jar of Nutella. A student sits at a desk to the left with a laptop. Overlaid text reads: 'Teach forgot his computer and asked for mine 🥺'

Hammer

56 views · Big Jim · 5 months ago

It could be if you believe

Braille

90 views · Big Jim · 5 months ago

Amazing idea

A split image shows two white square highway signs with a black border. Both signs display '70' in large black numbers and have the word 'SPEED' (or a misspelling of it) above. The left sign correctly says 'SPEED 70' with Braille dots below the numbers. The right sign misspells it as 'SP EEED 70' and also has Braille dots below the numbers. Above the signs, text reads: 'SHARE IF YOU AGREE HIGHWAY SIGNS SHOULD BE WRITTEN IN BRAILLE SO THAT BLIND DRIVERS DONT GET LOST. ONE LIKE ONE PRAYER! TYPE AMEN IN TGE COMMENTS'.

Brain

71 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

A black and white comic panel shows a woman with long hair leaning forward, with a speech bubble that says, "YOU FUCKED MY BRAINS OUT." Below her, a man is lying down, looking at his phone, and a speech bubble from him says, "NAH, YOU WAS STUPID WHEN WE STARTED."

Hand

300 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a pink-shirted man tells a blue-hoodie man, "Oh, I don't shake hands. I'm a germaphobe." In the second panel, the pink-shirted man asks, "How 'bout a fist-bump!" as they perform a fist-bump. In the third panel, a green-shirted man approaches the blue-hoodie man, who is walking away, and asks, "Dude! Was that anal-fisting-porn-star legend, Johnny Shit-Knuckles?!" The pink-shirted man looks on in surprise. In the fourth panel, the pink-shirted man has a look of extreme horror and disgust, realizing who he just fist-bumped.

Pumpkin

55 views · Big Jim · 5 months ago

Y he look like dat

A large orange pumpkin sits on a kitchen counter, partially carved. It has small, round eyes and a wide, gaping mouth, giving it a goofy or startled expression. The lower part of the mouth carving is left thick, resembling a chin or lower jaw. In the background, carving tools, a bowl of pumpkin seeds, and a bat-shaped carving template are visible, suggesting the carving process is underway.

Dolphin

87 views · Big Jim · 5 months ago

Any suggestions? Anything helps

A picture shows a deer swimming in blue water. The text below the image reads: 'I think my dolphin has autism'.

President

125 views · Big Jim · 5 months ago

🫡

A black and white image depicting two men shaking hands. The man on the left, with a beard and a hat, resembles Abraham Lincoln. The man on the right is a Black man, looking towards Lincoln. The text overlaid on the image reads: "President Abraham Lincoln meets the first freed slave after the signing The Emancipation Proclamation in 1863:".

Shrek

65 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A cartoon illustration shows Shrek, a green, ogre-like character, wearing a wedding dress adorned with insect patterns and a purple suit, holding a cactus bouquet. He stands next to a crocodile dressed in a patterned robe, holding a book, appearing to officiate a wedding. The text below reads: "Shrek decided to marry whatever this thing is. No priest would officiate because God hated Shrek for being alive, so they used a crocodile."

Data

23 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A black bar at the top contains white text that reads, "Ea-Nasir sold shitty copper." Below this, on a white background, is an overhead line drawing of a twin-engine airplane. Numerous small red dots are scattered across the plane's wings, fuselage, and tail, representing bullet holes. There is a visible concentration of these dots on the outer parts of the wings and tail, with fewer dots appearing on the central fuselage and engines.

Chili Pepper

59 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

A white image with black text at the top asking, "How do you measure how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?" Below it, the answer reads, "Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now." The bottom half of the image features a close-up photo of several bright red chili peppers hanging from a vibrant green plant, surrounded by lush leaves.

Clothing

160 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

Short People

355 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

The top half of the image features a 'TOP DEFINITION' headline stating 'National throw short people day' with the description below: 'On October 21, you can throw anyone under 5'4" with no permission needed'. The bottom half shows a close-up of Gimli, the dwarf character from Lord of the Rings, looking surprised and wide-eyed with his mouth slightly agape, possibly in shock or alarm. A 'CocoFun' watermark is in the bottom right corner.

Motorcycle

197 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

A person stands with their back to the camera, wearing a black leather jacket. On the back of the jacket is a large circular patch. The patch features a central image of a skeleton wearing a hat and riding a motorcycle. Above the central image, the text reads "SONS OF ALZHEIMER". Below the central image, the text reads "WHERE'S MY BIKE?".

Godzilla

64 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

A large Christmas decoration in the form of the character Godzilla is displayed in a shopping mall. The Godzilla figure is covered in Christmas lights and wears a Santa hat. Close-up images show Godzilla with glowing red eyes and breathing a mist, resembling its atomic breath. The text overlay reads: 'Japan is still trying to figure out Christmas.'

Vlad the Impaler

56 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

A portrait of Vlad the Impaler, a historical figure from the 15th century, is shown. He has long, dark hair, a mustache, and wears a red and gold ornate hat with pearls. The text overlaid on the image reads, "HALLOWEEN YARD DECORATION CHAMPION, 1456-1462".

Dog

41 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

A photograph captures a cloud formation in the sky resembling a dog, possibly a corgi, leaping or running. Below the cloud, the sun or moon shines brightly. The text overlay reads: "I have literally waited my entire lifetime to see this...".

Man

88 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A black and white image features Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a dark, textured suit, looking directly forward with a serious expression. Overlayed text in yellow reads "HOW TO BECOME A TOP 1% MAN", followed by a bulleted list of absurd advice in white, pink, and green. The list includes: "ONLY P*RN", "10L WATER", "WORKOUT (NO BREAKS) - 3X ARM DAY - 2X LEG DAY - 4X BUTTHOLE DAY", "READ BOOKS", "READ BOOKS AGAIN", "ASSEMBLE UNCLES", "300X DAIRY INTAKE", "12 HOURS GRINDING", "ABSORB DETROIT". A small username "@entopranure" is visible at the top.

Ring

52 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

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