Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Never Memes

Evil Duck Lords Of America

A picture of a duck looking through an airplane window. The text on the image reads: "Anatidaephobia. The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you. You can run, but you can never hide."

Thoughtless

A transparent squid is seen on top of a colorful background of square blocks. The text says: "Somebody tried to stump this squid by putting it in front of a background that its camouflage mechanisms could never hope to imitate... So it turned itself transparent. stick it to the man, Squid."

Thoughtless

The image shows three panels. In the first panel, an airline employee tells a passenger "You're too late, sir." In the second panel, Gandalf is standing in an airport, saying, "A wizard is never late, nor is he..." In the third panel, the airline employee replies, "Look, pal. This is a fucking airport. Your plane's gone."

Adolf Nigler

The reason we will never have reparations for slavery.

A person in a large yellow chicken costume is sitting in a blue chair, reading a book. To the right, a person is in a birdcage. The caption states "The reason we will never have reparations for slavery."

Pankake

A cockatiel sitting on a toy tank, with the text "Peace was never an option" written below the tank.

Why should you care

"Sinister Laugh"

A baby with his fingers near his mouth, looking directly at the viewer. The text in the image says: "How do I put this? You will never "sleep in" again."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a forum where the first user argues that arrays should start at one and that there can never be 0 of anything. The second user replies with the question: "Number of women you've slept with"

Heroin Monkey

A drawing shows a stick figure with a speech bubble saying "I'm okay." The figure is hunched over and chained to several round objects labeled "HORNY.". The text above the drawing reads, "be kind to people. u never know the burdens they carry around."

DAP ME UP

A blue screen displays the text: "You have pressed the button". It shows two numbers: 40233 (46%) in green and 47944 (54%) in red. The text says that 40233 people have pressed the button while 47944 have not. Below this text, there are three lines: "Stop world hunger", "but", and "Cancer will never be cured".

Heroin Monkey

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

Heroin Monkey

A dog sits at a desk in front of a computer, holding the book 1984 by George Orwell. The text on the image says: "I got banned from twitter today. Time to quote a book I never read."

Heroin Monkey

The image is a three-panel comic. In the first panel, a police officer is talking to Spider-man, saying "Spider-man! There's a kid trapped on the-". The second panel shows Spider-man replying with "Fuck you". In the third panel, Spider-man is shown again next to the police officer and saying, "Remember kids, never talk to a cop without a lawyer present, for ANY reason!"

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image shows a split view of John F. Kennedy. On the left a black-and-white photo inside a red circle shows Kennedy riding in a car during a parade, on the right a color portrait of Kennedy smiling. Below, the text "You'll never believe what happened at this parade (it blew my mind)" is shown. A YouTube interface is at the bottom with the channel name "JFK".

Heroin Monkey

The text says "Schrödinger's blowjob?" followed by a description of a hypothetical scenario. It states that while blindfolded one receives the best blowjob ever. The identity of the person is not known and it could be anyone such as Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold or even the fireman's cat. The question asked is if you would take off the blindfold to find out, or just leave it on.

AG

The image shows a text overlay on an image of Elmo surrounded by flames. The text reads "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* A cut I never knew existed:". The Elmo image is a well known template for meme creation.

Heroin Monkey

A boy playing violin for Ernie from Sesame Street. Ernie says, "That was amazing, Jason! I've never heard such an accurate rendition of several cats getting run over by a lawnmower."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet talks about "Cp", an abbreviation for child p***ography. The second tweet shows Walter White in a car yelling, "HANK, DON'T ABBREVIATE CYBERPUNK!"

Jazzy💕

Dayum

The image shows a text message exchange. The first message, in green, reads: "Mom stop you are not funny. You never make jokes." The reply, in white, says: "I made you."

Jazzy💕

Unless you wanna die

A meme with an image of a woman staring intensely. The text above her reads, "Things you never tell a Latina: -Chill -I'm breaking up with you -Lower your voice -Calm down -Relax -You're crazy [stares in Spanish]"

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