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Heroin Monkey
9 months ago
A promotional poster for a boxing match between Jake Paul and Joe Biden. The poster is titled “A Netflix Live Event” and has images of both men. It also shows “AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX” as the location and “Friday November 15” as the date of the fight. The logos of “Most Valuable Promotions” and “Netflix” are also visible.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.
  • 0
  • TaylorSwiftBoat
    10 months ago
    The image shows Mark Zuckerberg and T-Pain in a music studio. T-Pain is seen playing a keyboard, while Mark Zuckerberg stands in the background. A smaller inset photo shows Zuckerberg wearing a black t-shirt.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    George Floyd in a nutshell.

    The image shows two pictures of the same Black man, in a reaction meme format. The top picture is deep-fried and has glowing eyes. The text on the image says: "real shit". Below that picture is written: "Fake $20s". The second picture is a picture of the man sleeping. The text on this image says "i sleep", and next to it, it's written: "Cop on my neck".
  • 0
  • DAP ME UP
    10 months ago

    ?!?? TRIGGERED MUCH

    The image shows a conversation between a quiet kid and another person. The text reads: QUIET KID: I GOT MURDER ON MY MIND. ME: YEAH, ITS A REALLY NICE SONG. QUIET KID: WHAT SONG?. The background image is a man with a shocked expression.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A man standing in front of a brick wall while gesturing with his hands. The text above him reads: "me, a bricklayer, explaining to my apprentice (holding the camera) how I constructed this beautiful wall."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a newspaper headline that says "The T. Rex may have been a lot smarter than you thought" written by Dino Grandoni from The Washington Post.
  • 0
  • MEME LORD
    10 months ago
    The image shows a text box above an image. The text says, "I fucked my hamster to death. Am I a psychopath? Basically I was fucking my hamster, like I usually do. But then I forgot to pull out. The hamster had cum leaking from its eyes and mouth. Then it exploded. I felt no remorse. Am I a psychopath?" Below is an image of a cartoon bear with an angry expression.
  • 4
  • A Star Wars Fan
    10 months ago
    The top part of the image shows a test question: "Short Answer #5 (10 points): Provide an example of a risk." The student answers: "No.". The bottom part of the image has the text "The student:" and a picture from a movie. There is text below the movie scene: "As you see my Jedi powers are far beyond yours."
  • 0
  • A Star Wars Fan
    10 months ago
    The image is a split panel. The top part shows a conversation in the game Among Us between an orange character named Seby, who says "The impostor is pretty good," and a green character named Tv, who says, "Thx". The lower part of the image shows a still from a movie with the character Seby on the left, and the character Tv in the background. The text on the bottom says, "In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A digital painting depicting a man lying wounded on the ground in front of a burning landscape with a medieval castle in the background. The text above reads: "6 year old me after trying my parents toothpaste instead of my strawberry rainbow unicorn toothpaste."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A picture of a green pit in a yard. The text states that the person dumped a bunch of stuff in the pit.
  • 0
  • opal💫
    10 months ago

    My beloved

    A close-up of a person with dark hair, pale skin and red jacket, wearing a black turtleneck. He looks directly at the camera with a slightly pouty expression.
  • 30
  • United Kingdom UK
    10 months ago
    The image is split into two panels. The top panel shows Spongebob looking scared with the caption "Me when my parents are sleeping." The bottom panel shows three black silhouette figures dancing on a colorful, lighted dance floor. The text above them says, "they're groovin'" and the caption to the right of the image reads "My parents when I'm sleeping."
  • 0
  • DAP ME UP
    10 months ago

    Rate my daily schedule

    The image shows a daily schedule. It lists activities from waking up at 6 AM to going to sleep at 3 or 4 AM, including school, meals, chores, and walking the dog. It also mentions snacks, specifically "3 grilled cheeses on hamburger buns."
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a scene of chaos with two men and furniture flying around, with explosions. The text on the image reads: "I think what Isra*I doing is wro..." My home appliances:
  • 4
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The text reads: Calling it now. The Minecraft movie is gonna have a scene where Jack Black gets hit in the balls or something and says "Ack! My cubes!" because he has cubes for balls and the joke is that his balls are cubes.
  • 0
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