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Minutes Memes

Heroin Monkey

A person is sitting in front of a camera. There is a title underneath which says, "I Have No Words for This". Also, the number of views, "115K views" and the time when it was posted, "22 minutes ago" is written under the title. There's a speech bubble pointing to the person's mouth, labeled "speaking". A time stamp in the video reads 9:16.

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

UHM U CANT CALL PPLS FAT NOWADAYS

A man with a beard and a cat filter on his face points his finger. The text above him says, "Potentially Pregnant."

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

me?

A man with goofy glasses and a big smile is labeled "Tax Fraud:".

Heroin Monkey

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

Rylee ੈ♡˳

on school days too..

A person with messy hair looking tired. The text on the image says: "When you go for a 20 minute nap and wake up 7 hours later."

Emo Ness🖤🖤🖤

lol anons are idiots

A series of comments made by someone named Emo Ness. Emo Ness asks why they are being called fake, states that having an account does not make someone real and states that they had the account for a long time.

ur momy

who else

The image consists of text on a slightly blurred background. The text says: "I hate being the only one in my friend group who is ever on my time and who actually plans things out. I hate that my friends wait for things 'til the very last minute and are ALWAYS late. You're either there before the time or you're late."

ur momy

when you dont pay any attention in class

A cat is laying down while several baby chicks are nestled on its back. The text on top reads: Teacher: Anyone have any questions? Students: No. Teacher: Alright, go ahead and get started. *Students one minute later.

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

real.

A man is wearing glasses with one lens that is fully black. Above the man is the text "Her: goo goo gaga"

Heroin Monkey

A black and white comic strip depicting Darth Vader telling someone, presumably his son, about his conception. The text reads: "I AM YOUR FATHER! NO! No, that's impossible! Actually, it's very possible. I think it's time we had "the talk". You see, I stuck my penis into your mom's vagina. From there I- 20 long minutes later... Then I went uhhhh gghha aaa! Oh, BABY! And that's how you were created. I...I don't know how to take this all in. That's what your mom said LAST NIGHT! NOOOOOO!"

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

BAHAHAHAHAH

Im With Stupid 36 minutes ago
WHY ARE LEZBIANS BAD AT MATH
Im With Stupid 36 minutes ago
"Because they can't
multiply"
A

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

NO PAPERS CAN CHANGE MY FUTURE!

A person wearing a white coat and sunglasses with hearts on them is smiling at the viewer, holding a paper. The text overlay reads, "The Doctor with the C@ncer report:" and below the image, "GUYS PAPER CANT CHANGE MY FUTUR-...".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Anonymous

A Twitter post which reads, "aint been horny in 5 minutes i think im healing."

Anonymous

A screenshot of several usernames and comments. The first comment says, "yummmyy." The second comment says, "deliciouss." The third comment says, "yeah cook the pedos." The fourth comment says, "cuck the pedos >:3."

kate✨

Mr. Krabs is shown on a golf course in the style of a screenshot from the cartoon "Spongebob Squarepants." The text above him reads, "Sony: Publishes a live service game that sold well. Also Sony:". The text on the bottom of the image reads, "Wait a minute, I hate PC users".

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

lollll

A person with a filter of cat ears and heart sunglasses is shown with the text "Hero-shima" in the image.

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Wade

Matpat in a nutshell

Heroin Monkey

Two Nintendo Switch consoles are sitting side-by-side on the wire rack inside a lit oven. One console has blue and red Joy-Cons attached, and the other appears to be a Switch Lite or the main console with grey Joy-Cons. The oven interior is visible.

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