Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Minutes Memes

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

BAHAHAHAHAH

Im With Stupid 36 minutes ago
WHY ARE LEZBIANS BAD AT MATH
Im With Stupid 36 minutes ago
"Because they can't
multiply"
A

ur momy

who else

The image consists of text on a slightly blurred background. The text says: "I hate being the only one in my friend group who is ever on my time and who actually plans things out. I hate that my friends wait for things 'til the very last minute and are ALWAYS late. You're either there before the time or you're late."

ur momy

when you dont pay any attention in class

A cat is laying down while several baby chicks are nestled on its back. The text on top reads: Teacher: Anyone have any questions? Students: No. Teacher: Alright, go ahead and get started. *Students one minute later.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Heroin Monkey

A man is shown in selfie-style, sitting in an airplane seat. The text reads, "If Sal doesn't send me $200 in 12 minutes, everyone on this plane will be tonight's big loser."

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

real.

A man is wearing glasses with one lens that is fully black. Above the man is the text "Her: goo goo gaga"

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

NO PAPERS CAN CHANGE MY FUTURE!

A person wearing a white coat and sunglasses with hearts on them is smiling at the viewer, holding a paper. The text overlay reads, "The Doctor with the C@ncer report:" and below the image, "GUYS PAPER CANT CHANGE MY FUTUR-...".

Heroin Monkey

An image of a homemade machine gun. The gun is made from an electric drill, a wooden gun stock, and metal components. Text underneath the image reads: "80-vuotias hämeenlinnalaisinsinööri kehitteli porakoneesta konetuliaseen, jonka tulinopeus on 420 laukausta minuutissa. Aseeseen sopivat 22 kaliiperin panokset. An 80-year old engineer from Hämeenlinna (a city in Finland) made a machine gun out of an electric drill, which has a firing speed of 420 shots per minute. The gun takes .22 rounds."

Heroin Monkey

A person is sitting in front of a camera. There is a title underneath which says, "I Have No Words for This". Also, the number of views, "115K views" and the time when it was posted, "22 minutes ago" is written under the title. There's a speech bubble pointing to the person's mouth, labeled "speaking". A time stamp in the video reads 9:16.

Face mc shooty

A screen capture of a manga character with a shocked expression, accompanied by the text, "When you're talking to bro for the past 5 minutes and then hear 'bro i think your mic is muted'"

Anonymous

A Twitter post which reads, "aint been horny in 5 minutes i think im healing."

Wade

Matpat in a nutshell

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

lollll

A person with a filter of cat ears and heart sunglasses is shown with the text "Hero-shima" in the image.

kate✨

Mr. Krabs is shown on a golf course in the style of a screenshot from the cartoon "Spongebob Squarepants." The text above him reads, "Sony: Publishes a live service game that sold well. Also Sony:". The text on the bottom of the image reads, "Wait a minute, I hate PC users".

timmyy

A screenshot of several usernames and comments. The first comment says, "yummmyy." The second comment says, "deliciouss." The third comment says, "yeah cook the pedos." The fourth comment says, "cuck the pedos >:3."

Rylee ੈ♡˳

time to say my goodbyes ig.

An email with the subject 'DAEP 5 day notice - Rylee T' sent by Diana Foster. The email states that Rylee T is eligible for release from DAEP this week and will be released on Friday, September 29, 2023, returning to campus on Monday, October 2, 2023, pending a review of points and required activities.

ǟֆɦȶօռ քǟʀӄɛֆ ツ

dagger perfect time to make a move

A comment that says "i love dagger XD".

Wade

Y E S

A squirrel stands with its arms raised. The image says, "Study for 10 minutes. Reward self with 2 hours of internet use."

RapBoat

A social media post says "Uh oh...Drake coming..." followed by a comment that reads, "hahaha Ayo @Akademiks 23 mins and no reply yet.... Start yo clock Nigga. Keep that same enegry hahah". Below that, it says, "Liked by champagnepapi and 8,831 others" and has the username "akademiks".

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