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Kill

Kill memes

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Kill

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • 1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident
  • 0
  • Classmate

    Toast ツ · 2 years ago
  • A dark green chalkboard with white text, 'I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES,' written repeatedly. The last line, 'I WILL KILL MY CLASSMATES,' is splattered with red, like blood.
  • 2
  • Bird

    Why should you care · 1 year ago
  • this is why we need to kill all of the birds because the birds are giving the government pictures for the cloning

    A baby looks shocked, while text above says 'HOLY CRAP' and text below says 'I'VE BEEN CLONED!'
  • 0
  • Outfit

    Wade · 2 years ago
  • Maid Outfit

    A comic panel with a character wearing a white outfit with a hood asking "YOU GONNA KILL ME, ZODIAC?" A figure in a black mask replies "KILL YOU?? HOW WOULD YOU PUT ON THE MAID OUTFIT IF I KILLED YOU?" The white character replies, "I'VE DIED BEFORE, AND... WAIT, THE WHAT?!" The masked character says "ON SECOND THOUGHT, IT MIGHT BE EASIER THAT WAY. GOOD CALL!"
  • 0
  • Choice

    Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago
  • A meme on a pink background titled "YOU CAN ONLY PICK 2". It features nine colored pills (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, brown, black) each with a unique superpower or trade-off listed below it. The options range from financial wealth with a yearly physical cost to specific sexual or violent abilities, and niche gaming skills.
  • 0
  • Family

    Shit-post master general · 9 months ago
  • It’s so cold make it stop

    A cartoon image of Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants lying in bed, wide awake with a distressed, almost horrified expression, not peacefully sleeping. A small teddy bear is tucked in next to him. The text overlaid on the image reads: "How I sleep at night after killing the evil skin walkers who kept pretending to be my family:"
  • 0
  • Food

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A screenshot of a Google review by Todd, where he says the service was awful but the food was great, and the service was so bad it was entertaining. Below, another user commented, "Hey Todd, go kill yourself. Why don't you try opening..."
  • 0
  • Super Bowl

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • The image is a graph showing the search trends for 'super bowl' in blue and 'how to read roman numerals' in red from 2009 to 2014. The 'super bowl' search term spikes up dramatically in 2014. The text above the graph says: "this graph kills me every time I see it". Below the graph are the years 2009-2014. There is also the text "imgflip.com" in the lower left.
  • 0
  • Bro

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • A character that looks like Vegeta from Dragonball Z wearing a suit and glasses is reading a book. Above him is the text: "Me looking at bro after choosing him to read page 174 of To Kill a Mockingbird." Behind him, there's a bookshelf with a sign that says "Silence" on it.
  • 0
  • Kid

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".
  • 0
  • Brit

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.
  • 0
  • Voldemort

    BellaTrix · 2 years ago
  • The image shows four cartoon penguins standing side-by-side. One penguin, wearing a military-style hat, is labeled "Voldemort planning to kill Harry for the 100th time." The other three penguins are labeled "Bellatrix", "Lucius", and "Narcissa" respectively. There are candy corn scattered on the floor.
  • 1
  • Furry

    furry memes · 2 years ago
  • choose one

    Six furry characters are displayed with the text "Pick one to protect you and the rest will try to kill you."
  • 1
  • Grim Reaper

    Evil Duck Lords Of America · 1 year ago
  • The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a yellow duck stands alone, and the text reads, "There is no grim reaper." In the second panel, the same duck stands with the text, "There is only the duck of death." In the third panel, the duck is walking, and the text says, "At the end he waddles in and claims your soul." In the fourth panel, a Grim Reaper is next to text that reads, "We only made up the grim reaper so you wouldn't feel so stupid about being killed by a duck." In the fifth panel, the duck stands with the text "But it's really just going to be this cute." In the final panel, the same duck is pulling a person by their foot. The person is lying on the ground with the text, "Please don't be all angry about this. It's just the way it is."
  • 0
  • Snail

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a man is pointing up and saying, "If salt kills snails, then if my hypothesis is correct". The second panel shows a snail in a box with pepper being sprinkled over it and text saying, "Pepper should, in fact, bring them back to life!". The third panel shows the snail glowing with a bright light. The fourth panel shows a giant snail with the man standing at his feet and text saying, "Oh god, I was wrong. It just makes them huge and horny!!". The fifth panel shows a huge snail close-up with long tendrils and text saying, "Now lemme get ya slimey- I wanna nibble on your virginity!". The sixth panel shows the man crying and screaming with a snail tendril coming towards him with text saying, "Mum get the salt! Get the f***ing salt!"
  • 0
  • Diary entry

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.
  • 0
  • Woman

    Anonymous · 1 year ago
  • A close-up image of Miss Piggy from The Muppets on a stage with a red curtain background. Text above her reads, 'Why do you love being a woman?' Text below her reads, 'Women are like bacon. They smell good, They taste good, and they will kill you slowly.'
  • 0
  • Wizard

    BellaTrix · 2 years ago
  • The image shows a woman, Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter, looking serious. Above her it says 'Slaughters powerful wizards left and right', below it says, 'Killed by chubby housewife'.
  • 0
  • Cat

    Bryan · 2 years ago
  • A white and brown cat with wide eyes is smiling at the viewer. Text on the image reads: "I KILLED A MOUSE FOR YOU... I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU...ANYTHING."
  • 0
  • Jew

    Anonymous · 1 year ago
  • The meme shows two distinct visuals side by side. On the left, there's a hand holding an Uno card that features the text, "Stop killing Jews OR draw 25". To the right of this card, there is a dense, repeating pattern of Uno "Draw 25" cards, with the name "Kanye" superimposed over the pattern.
  • 0
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