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Chatbot

76 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 days ago

A split screenshot of a Facebook Messenger conversation with the official Zootopia movie page. On the left, the user Ian says 'hey'. The chatbot, identified as Officer Judy Hopps, asks if he is ready to make the world a better place. Ian replies 'im ready to kill myself'. The chatbot responds 'Great! That's what we're all about here at the ZPD!'. On the right side, the chatbot has sent a long, repetitive string of messages saying 'please don't'.

River

40 views · Heroin Monkey · 19 days ago

A comparison meme using the Swole Doge vs. Cheems format. On the left, a blue-tinted Cheems wearing an ancient Egyptian headdress represents the Nile, saying timidly that it might flood slightly more or less than usual. On the right, a large, muscular Swole Doge in a traditional Chinese robe represents the Yellow River, aggressively stating that it will shift its course by 800 kilometers, kill millions, and destroy dynasties.

Rock

159 views · Willy b · 25 days ago

Alcohol

105 views · Willy b · 1 month ago

A meme featuring text at the top: "Doctors: Alcohol is killing you slowly. Me: That's okay, I'm not in a hurry." Below is a photo of Richard Hammond, James May, and Jeremy Clarkson from The Grand Tour standing on a boat. Richard Hammond is labeled "Me:", while James May and Jeremy Clarkson are labeled "Doctors:".

Choice

91 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

A meme on a pink background titled "YOU CAN ONLY PICK 2". It features nine colored pills (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, brown, black) each with a unique superpower or trade-off listed below it. The options range from financial wealth with a yearly physical cost to specific sexual or violent abilities, and niche gaming skills.

Confession

36 views · Shitpost master-general · 2 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Official

157 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

The image features the famous oil painting 'Washington Crossing the Delaware' by Emanuel Leutze, showing George Washington standing heroically in a boat filled with soldiers navigating through ice. Above the painting, the text reads: 'Christmas night, 1776. George Washington crosses the Delaware River to kill government officials in their sleep bc they taxed his tea at 3%.'

Movie

184 views · Heroin Monkey · 4 months ago

A screenshot of a movie review for 'Free Guy 2021'. The post shows the movie poster featuring Ryan Reynolds and a low rating (one green star). The text reads: 'Watched August 20, 2021. got pulled over for speeding on the way to see this and i wish the cop killed me.' The review has 1005 likes.

Iceberg

21 views · Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A three-panel political compass meme. The top panel shows an NPC Wojak against a political compass background, with the text: "The sinking of the Titanic was an accident caused by poor weather conditions." The middle panel shows a Brainlet Wojak against a political compass background, with the text: "The Titanic was deliberately sunk to kill off those who opposed the creation of the Federal Reserve." The bottom panel shows GigaChad against a political compass background, with the text: "Ice (((berg)))"

Account

102 views · Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter (or X) feed on a dark background. The top section shows 'Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper' with a 'Subscribe' button and the text 'BREAKING: Official Elmo account hacked'. Below this are three posts from a verified 'Elmo @elmo' account.
The first tweet, posted '44s' ago, reads: 'Elmo says ALL JEWS SHOULD DIE. FUCK JEWS. DONALD TRUMP IS NETANYAHU'S PUPPET BECAUSE HE IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. JEWS CONTROL THE WORLD AND NEED TO BE EXTERMINATED.'
The second tweet, posted '7m' ago, reads: 'RELEASE THE FILES @realDonaldTrump CHILD FUCKER'.
The third tweet, posted '10m' ago, reads: 'Kill all Jews.'
The bottom of the screenshot shows '7:22 PM . 13 Jul 25 . 2.2M Views'.

Life

71 views · Willy b · 6 months ago

An illustration depicts a man with a mustache, wearing a dark military beret with an emblem, reflective sunglasses, and a military uniform with "Poland" on the sleeve. He holds a rifle in one hand and has a lit cigar in his mouth. The background is an orange gradient. Below the image, text reads: "In 1967, Polish mercenary Rafal Ganowicz was asked what it felt like to take human life, 'I wouldn't know, I've only ever killed communists.'"

Family

22 views · Shit-post master general · 6 months ago

It’s so cold make it stop

A cartoon image of Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants lying in bed, wide awake with a distressed, almost horrified expression, not peacefully sleeping. A small teddy bear is tucked in next to him. The text overlaid on the image reads: "How I sleep at night after killing the evil skin walkers who kept pretending to be my family:"

Cigarette

76 views · Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A meme featuring a top panel with white text on a black background and a bottom panel showing a fantasy-like figure with wings in a dramatic pose. The text reads: 'Man, I wish there was a way to smell like shit, feel like shit, cover my entire house in tar, waste thousands of dollars, hurt everyone around me, and slowly kill myself. Cigarettes:' The bottom image depicts a character with wings, possibly an angel or a fantasy hero, illuminated from above.

Superhero

65 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A comic strip shows a movie theater marquee advertising "AVENGERS." Two young children are standing nearby. One child says in a speech bubble, "They killed my dad." The other child, looking towards two uniformed figures (one labeled POLICE, the other EMS), says in a speech bubble, "ACTUAL SUPERHEROES." In the background, the CN Tower is visible. Below the comic, a comment from a user asks, "Question is who said what first."

WhatsApp

59 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A meme formatted like a WhatsApp chat. The top text reads "If WhatsApp was in the human body 😂". The chat shows multiple entries from "cell 1" through "cell 5", each saying "I need CARBOHYDRATES". In between cell 3 and cell 4, there is an entry from "cancer cell" with a red icon, saying "I can't KILL MYSELF". On the right side, there's a silhouette of a person walking.

Voice

64 views · Anonymous · 9 months ago

Shitpost master general

A four-panel exploitable meme featuring the Trollface. The top left panel shows a beaker with yellow and blue liquid, with the text 'The voices are back'. The top right panel shows the Trollface and the text '1) do not listen to them', 'get a forklift', and 'cover yourself in oil'. The bottom left panel shows the Trollface again, surrounded by various bizarre and disturbing commands like 'cover yourself in oil', 'find a sturdy metal chair', 'place buttered toast on a cat's back', 'find two magnets', 'get a forklift', 'buy 1kg of pure mercury', 'let us take control', 'you did this to yourself', and 'kill them all', with the heading '2) resist their commands'. The bottom right panel shows the Trollface with an even more chaotic and layered jumble of text, including many of the previous commands, self-blaming phrases like 'you did this to yourself', 'we can't outrun your sins', and 'this is your fault', and the large, distressed red text '3) make it stop' and 'MAKE IT STOP'. The overall image depicts a descent into a desperate mental state.

Hypocrisy

209 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A split image. On the left, a man with a long beard and a red hat that reads 'MAKE PEDOPHILES AFRAID AGAIN' points his finger. On the right, the same man, now bald and clean-shaven, is seen in an orange jumpsuit, appearing in a court or jail setting. The text above the images states 'Pedo Hunter arrested for raping his own daughter.' The text below says, 'Reminds me of when you kill someone in Among Us and then report it yourself to make it less suspicious.'

Text message

75 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

Shooter game

23 views · tabs1528 · 10 months ago

Who doesn‘t

A skeleton is sitting relaxed on a wooden bench in an outdoor setting. A hand holding a silver pistol is shown in the foreground pointing upwards from the bottom left. Text overlays the image. Top text: ME IN A SHOOTER GAME. Bottom text: PRETENDING I'M DEAD TO KILL THE ENEMY.

Body

25 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A screenshot of Donald Trump sitting at a table with flags behind him. Overlaid text reads: 'The doctors said they've never seen a body kill the Coronavirus like my body. They tested my DNA, and it wasn't DNA. It was USA.'

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