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Life

Alastor Wade. · 2 years ago

Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

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Graph

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

mmm I love desmos

A screenshot of the Desmos graphing calculator interface, showing a 3D graph of a cube made up of several sine and cosine equations. There is a list of the equations on the left and on the right the letters 'z' and 'y' are visible

Airport

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The meme displays text over an image of a character in armor, possibly from the Halo video game series, falling through a blue background. The text reads: 'White kids on a leash in airports when their 400 pound ogre mom sees the foodcourt.'

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Bear

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person in a red uniform shows a screen with code to a bear walking away in the forest. The text above the image says: "If you meet a bear in the forest, just ask him to review your pull request so he pretends he didn't notice you and goes away".

Gorilla

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

experiment

The post is a text-based message with several paragraphs detailing a hypothetical scenario involving gorillas and drugs in a shopping mall.

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Calvin

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

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Money

Blach66.1 · 2 years ago

A screenshot of the Google Play Store page for the Kuda money app, which is advertised as being for Africans. Text overlaid on the image questions the phrasing, suggesting the app is for "Africans for money".

Celebrity

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a person with a hand-drawn, simple face over a photo of a woman on a red carpet. The text above reads: "Hello fellow humans, I am celebrity No. 2932, I believe in everything that is safe and popular with people aged 18-35. You may now praise me on the social media platform of your choice, remember to purchase my newly manufactured album."

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Wife

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a comparison between modern and ancient Sith. The modern Sith are depicted as whiny and emotional, lamenting about being stuck in a machine and having their superweapon destroyed. The ancient Sith are portrayed as stoic and embracing pain, declaring "TO PAIN IS TO LIVE, AND BOY, AM I LIVING!"

INS

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

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Account

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a thermostat displaying an error message that reads "Account Terminated. Your behaviour has violated the OJ Family Code of Conduct. Reason: Leaking United States classified documents. This thermostat has been locked." The time on the screen is "Fri 1:30 PM" and the temperature is "-964°C". The text "they done banned me from the thermostat" is overlayed at the bottom.

Bio

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image depicts a cartoon-like figure, Link, from the video game series "The Legend of Zelda", standing in what appears to be a science lab. The text "LINK IN BIO" is printed on top of the image.

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Rug

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a black doormat with white text that reads, "it's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves", and below the text is a cartoonish drawing of a person. Above the doormat is a text that reads, "The rug I ordered 6 months ago finally came in lmao."

Tip

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A vintage style illustration with the text "WITCHCRAFT TIPS. HOW TO PERFORM: Curse of breaking every bone in someone's body. TO DO THIS SPELL YOU WILL NEED: car." To the right is a cartoon witch holding a green book, and a small black car is shown flying through the air above her head.

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Dildo

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

People

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A split image with a dog on the left, saying "I don't wanna get political but" and the same dog on the right, looking at a map with the text "478 million people live in the cum zone" written over the USA. The map also has Canada and Mexico labeled.

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Corner

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

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Seal

The Radio Demon · 2 years ago

Seal Vs Sea Lion

The image shows two cartoon drawings of a seal and a sea lion. The seal is labeled with "ABABABBA", "just a little guy", and "potato dog". The sea lion is labeled with "BORK BORK", "um spooky", and "man in a wetsuit".

N word

Wade XL · 2 years ago

The image shows a screenshot with text at the top and a man with a shocked expression at the bottom. The text reads: "technically you can call a black guy the n word and I came up with this theory and it's called NROENB it's stands for NO Rasicts Or Equality Not Both. So my theory is that if black ppl call each other the n word then because they want Equality it means that Whites can call Blacks the n word Whites can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Blacks the n word. And Asians are somewhere in the middle."

Dick

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a comment from user ElderMaxson69, saying, "Maybe instead of riding a dick, you would prefer riding in a set of T-60b Power Armor? Join the Brotherhood of Steel today and take back the commonwealth. Ad Victoriam!"

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