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1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

The image shows a black doormat with white text that reads, "it's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves", and below the text is a cartoonish drawing of a person. Above the doormat is a text that reads, "The rug I ordered 6 months ago finally came in lmao."

A white paper with black text and a simple black drawing of a figure with a long nose. The text reads: "It's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves."

When he shares screen on call

The image contains five Yu-Gi-Oh! trading cards. Four of them are labeled 'Right Arm of the Forbidden One', 'Left Arm of the Forbidden One', 'Right Leg of the Forbidden One', and 'Left Leg of the Forbidden One' respectively. They feature golden limbs of a figure in chains. The fifth card in the center is labeled 'Nick Vujcic' and shows a picture of a man with no limbs.

The image shows a white paper cutout of a figure with a raised hand, taped to a window. The shadow of the cutout is also visible in the dark room.

The image is a four-panel meme. The first panel shows a person leaving a house, with a speech bubble saying "woof woof". The second panel shows a dog running. The third panel shows a dog looking at a computer. The fourth panel shows a Google search query, "where did my balls go".

A text message exchange shows a request to buy a card because a coworker's husband was deported. The image below the message shows a greeting card that says "Adios!" with an image of a chihuahua wearing a sombrero. The second text message below the card says "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

title

The image shows a man sitting on a couch with a large penis in the foreground. A woman's hand is in the lower left corner holding a book and partially blocking the view. The text overlay reads "YOU KNOW YOU SEE IT."

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan conversation with two photos attached. The first photo shows a very simple, mostly white bedroom with a bed, a ceiling fan, and a window. The second photo shows a bedroom with a wooden nightstand next to a bed, a green lamp, a bottle of beer, and a pizza box on the nightstand. The text above the photos reads: "Do males really live like this?" The subsequent messages are "yeah although I put a cool t-rex lamp next to my bed", "that's fucking sick dude" and "based t-rex chad"

A person is laying horizontally against the wall as if they are trying to avoid touching the ground. Above, the text reads "When you hit the spider and it runs under the bed."

The image shows a wooden guillotine with labels and prices for each part from Home Depot, accompanied by the text "Something you can do with your $600 stimulus check." at the top and "DIY PROJECTS & IDEAS" at the bottom. The parts and prices include: 24in x 24in, #16 plain sheet metal for $39.98; Everbilt 1/4in x 100 ft Sisal Rope, Naural for $7.97; 1in x 6in x 8 ft for $10.11; 4in x 4in x 10 #2 for $11.12; 2in x 4in #12 Galvanized L-Angle for $2.11; and 2in x 4in x 10 #2 for $3.88.

LMAO

A man with a mustache looks annoyed. Text on top of the image: "When the funny mental health meme hits a little too close to home." Text at the bottom of the image: "- [laughs]"

Attack on Deadpool

The image shows a large being looming over a burning city with Deadpool in the foreground. Deadpool exclaims: "Oh my god!... I think I left the oven on at home!". The text above says: GOOGLED "ATTACK ON DEADPOOL" and below says: WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED.

The image text says: "My mother taking me to class angry because I was late. my backpack at home:". The image shows a person looking down with hands clasped.

Does anyone else just randomly build a lantern at 9:30pm

The image shows a lit-up, partially assembled lantern sitting on a couch. There are several unassembled wooden panels nearby, as well as a pair of scissors and an electric cable, suggesting the lamp was just assembled. The background is dimly lit.

My dream tbh

The image shows a black firearm with an attached horn. The text says "Imagine breaking into my house and hearing honk honk before getting smoked."

Based

A screenshot of a series of comments. The first comment by May TheBlahaj states: "Damn unless I'm crazy the level of transphobia on wje is insane." Followed by a reply by Snapback Jester, "You're crazy, and nobody cares". May TheBlahaj then replies: "Let me guess, Wade?", and finally nut cracker writes: "oh god".

What happend for them to put this sign up?

A black and white image of a sign with the text "PLEASE DON'T SUMMON DEMONS IN THE BATHROOM" in a decorative font, with a pentagram at the top and a small bathtub illustration at the bottom.

A man with glasses and a beard is looking directly at a security camera. Text on top says: "Hey, Vsauce Michael here. Your home security is great. Or is it?"

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