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148 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 month ago

A classical painting showing a white and brown dog howling in pain as its paw is pinched by a large black lobster on the floor. Labels on the image identify the dog as "The home intruder about to be promoted to a missing person," a smaller red lobster nearby as "God (weeping)," and the large lobster as "Me with chains and an electric auto milker."

Bedroom

152 views · Willy b · 1 month ago

A screenshot of a social media post by Sawyer Smith. The text says he thought he was being stealthy bringing a girl home, but found an item outside his door in the morning. Below the text is a photo of a hand holding a blue and yellow can of WD-40. A yellow sticky note is stuck to the can with handwritten text that says, "FOR YOUR BED FRAME" followed by a heart and the word "DAD".

Bus

146 views · Willy b · 1 month ago

The meme shows a text block above an image. The text says: "Whoever told me to leave my car at the pub and take the bus home, turns out I was in no fit state to drive that either." The image below shows a red bus crashed into the front yard and facade of a brick house, with police officers in high-visibility vests attending the scene.

Impalement

51 views · Willy b · 7 months ago

A historical portrait of Vlad the Impaler, a man with a long nose, dark mustache, and long dark hair, wearing an ornate hat with jewels and a gold-trimmed tunic. The text overlay reads: "TRUST ME. YOU ONLY HAVE TO IMPALE A FEW OF THEM. THE REST WILL GO HOME."

Stairs

15 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A pale, monstrous creature with glowing eyes, sharp teeth, and long claws hangs from the top of a carpeted staircase, looking down. A red circle and arrow point to a white thermostat mounted on the wall near the bottom of the stairs. Text overlay reads: "Yall fw my new thermostat?".

Drunk

17 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man is looking at his phone. The text says: "Dude, you're drunk, you can barely walk." Yeah no shit, that's why I'm gonna drive home, dumbass.

Bucket

22 views · Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A computer-generated image shows a wall of water crashing onto a land area with some green vegetation. The image contains the text, "Me releasing my bucket into a retirement home so the old people will think they're in the titanic."

Toaster

30 views · Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A picture of a bathtub with a toaster inside it. The text above the picture says "When you get off of work and she's waiting for you in the bathtub."

Dog

12 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image of a dinosaur looking into a ring camera at night. Text on the image says "I hate the neighbor's dog, always activating my ring camera."

KFC

16 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A collage of news headlines about KFC moving its headquarters from Kentucky to Texas. The headlines are from CBS News, BBC, Newsweek, CNN, and Fox Business.

Cat

7 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

The image shows a Ring doorbell notification that says, "There is motion at your Front Door." Below the notification is a grayscale image of a cat holding a fan of dollar bills.

Room

8 views · Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A still from the movie "American Psycho" shows Patrick Bateman looking surprised, overlaid with the text "Me when I come home and see my room got cleaned by mom."

Sentence

18 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Prisoners 'could serve 1,000 year sentence in eight hours'" followed by the text: "Future biotechnology could be used to make prisoners feel as if they were serving a 1,000 year sentence, a team of scientists claim". Below, Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" is sitting in a chair with the text: "ah sweet man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" above him.

Lizard

14 views · DIANEE · 1 year ago

A picture shows a lizard with its mouth open next to a little girl in a yellow jacket who looks to the right with a surprised expression on her face. The text reads: "How I feel when I bring home hornworms."

Celebrity

18 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A white tour bus with "CELEBRITY HOME TOURS" written on its side and "HALF PRICE" below and on the front is in the foreground. In the background are run-down, abandoned-looking houses.

Man

114 views · Apollo · 1 year ago

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Loneliness

5 views · Swf · 1 year ago

A person's face is silhouetted in gray, with hands holding a heart in the center. The text says, "You're not alone. If you or someone you know is having a hard time, help is always available."

Christmas

24 views · Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

An orange tabby cat sleeps on a gift-wrapped pillow under a Christmas tree. The image text says: "Someone guessed what they're getting for Christmas."

Cat

2 views · Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A white cat is reaching towards a lamp on a desk, with the text: "Now I have to unplug my lamp at night. Because this cat learned how to turn it on. And he turns it on every time he's hungry in the middle of the night."

Trade Offer

5 views · Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A black and white cat sits on a grey carpet. There is an orange ball and a toy mouse in front of the cat. The meme says "A TRADE OFFER". On the left it says "I recieve: - nice home - gravy tubes - pets - birb watching". On the right it says "you recieve: - me".

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