Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Prisoners 'could serve 1,000 year sentence in eight hours'" followed by the text: "Future biotechnology could be used to make prisoners feel as if they were serving a 1,000 year sentence, a team of scientists claim". Below, Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" is sitting in a chair with the text: "ah sweet man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" above him.

DIANEE

A picture shows a lizard with its mouth open next to a little girl in a yellow jacket who looks to the right with a surprised expression on her face. The text reads: "How I feel when I bring home hornworms."

Heroin Monkey

A white tour bus with "CELEBRITY HOME TOURS" written on its side and "HALF PRICE" below and on the front is in the foreground. In the background are run-down, abandoned-looking houses.

Tsukuyomi

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

A Star Wars Fan

A person's face is silhouetted in gray, with hands holding a heart in the center. The text says, "You're not alone. If you or someone you know is having a hard time, help is always available."

Adolf kitler

An orange tabby cat sleeps on a gift-wrapped pillow under a Christmas tree. The image text says: "Someone guessed what they're getting for Christmas."

Adolf kitler

A white cat is reaching towards a lamp on a desk, with the text: "Now I have to unplug my lamp at night. Because this cat learned how to turn it on. And he turns it on every time he's hungry in the middle of the night."

Adolf kitler

A black and white cat sits on a grey carpet. There is an orange ball and a toy mouse in front of the cat. The meme says "A TRADE OFFER". On the left it says "I recieve: - nice home - gravy tubes - pets - birb watching". On the right it says "you recieve: - me".

DIANEE

I just hit my head. This is me now

A drawing shows a simple, outlined figure lying flat on its back, arms extended and slightly bent. The figure is a basic human form without any facial features. The image also includes the phrase "kinda found dead in Miami"

timmyy

A screenshot of a Discord chat between two users. The first user, with the name Doll, admits to being hypersexual and horny. The second user initially responds with understanding, but then states that they were thinking of the first user while they were having these feelings. The first user responds with "That's bad."

DIANEE

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The image shows a meme with text "MY ADHD" above a picture of a man with a confused expression. Below it, it says "how to have a conversation?" and shows four options: "A: interrupt them", "B: trip over your words", "C: zone out", "D: get really excited about the topic and freak them out." Below this another meme with the text "ADHD THERAPIST: WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW?" and a picture of a person looking overwhelmed. Below this the text says "Me: My mind is like an Internet browser. 19 tabs open, 5 of them are frozen & I have no idea where the music is coming from." A third meme to the right says "Nobody:" and "ADHD:"

Pankake

Credit to the original uploaded

The image is a four-panel comic strip of a yellow bird wearing a Christmas hat and scarf. In the first panel, the bird sits on a perch near a window with the caption "this is the best time of the year!". The second panel shows a hand petting the bird with the caption "human stays home to scritch me more". In the third panel, the bird is near a Christmas tree with the caption "human also puts out more perches". The fourth panel shows the bird next to a present with the caption "and makes some shredding toys just for me!".

jefferyo100

The image is split into two panels. The left panel shows three different anime faces of women expressing pleasure with the text "When she moans" above it. Below the anime faces is a dark blue car. The right panel shows three anime characters with the text "When your introvert energy surpasses your godlike rizz" above and "I wanna go home" below them. The panel is framed with a color. The first is red, and the second is light blue.

jefferyo100

A cartoon image of Fry from Futurama with the text 'ME: MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM' above him and 'MOM: NOTHING' below him.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a floor plan of a house. The top part includes a bedroom, kitchen, and bath. The bottom part is labeled "Forklift battle arena". The text above the top part reads "dream house".

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Heroin Monkey

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Heroin Monkey

A text message conversation. It starts with a message from "fbi agent" saying "You welcome, don't mess this up king". Followed by a question "Wyd", the reply "playing xbox with the boys", then "you?" and finally a message saying: "Parents aren't home come over".

Heroin Monkey

A picture of a green pit in a yard. The text states that the person dumped a bunch of stuff in the pit.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a scene of chaos with two men and furniture flying around, with explosions. The text on the image reads: "I think what Isra*I doing is wro..." My home appliances:

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