Worst Jokes Ever

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Sooploosh MacSchnibble

homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Heroin Monkey

A bottle of peach flavored iced tea called "didi" is being held in a hand. Text overlays the image: "Tf going on in Turkey bru? They done give me the Diddy juice."

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon of Joe Biden is at a podium with a sign that reads "State of the Union". He's saying, "I'm going to go to freddy fnaf pizzeria."

Heroin Monkey

A person underwater wearing a Rolex watch, with text overlayed in a message format. The text reads: "mogged this idiot. Going band for band with a fish is insane. Buddy couldn't handle it and swam away."

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

Jazzy💕

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person suggests playing a game, asking who the other would choose to be stranded with on a deserted island. The other person replies, "That's easy. Dora - that girl has everything in her backpack." The first person responds with sad emojis.

A Star Wars Fan

A still from the Star Wars video game featuring Jar Jar Binks with a red lightsaber. The image contains the text: "Therapist: Darth Jar Jar isn't real, he can't hurt you. Darth Jar Jar: Jar Jar Binks: Mesa going to hurt yousa!"

Cupツ

OOp -_- fr

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person asks, "What are you doing?" The other replies, "Laying in bed." The first person asks, "Just laying in bed, nothing else?;)" The other replies, "I'm drinking wine." The first person asks, "What would you do if I was in bed next to you?" The other replies, "Drink my wine." The first person says, "LOL, I mean if the wine wasn't there!" The other replies, "Go buy wine."

Anonymous

when the bitch tryna start shit

Jazzy💕

The image shows three lines, each labeled with a different description. The first line is a straight line. The second line is a dash line. The third line has the label "iconic line:" above a scene from "Grey's Anatomy" where a woman says, "I go a little dark and twisty... but then I come back."

Jazzy💕

A person is looking into a sink drain with water running. The caption reads: "Them: So you really just gonna let everything we had go down the drain???"

Jazzy💕

Not naming any name but yk who u are

A crying white cat sits in front of a computer screen. The text says, "When you send a message to a friend who's online and right after that, they go offline."

Anonymous

💀😭

A two-panel image. The first panel shows two anime characters embracing under the moonlight. The second panel shows the faces of two characters intimately close, possibly about to kiss. The text reads: "When you go to the restaurant with your mom and there's discount for couples."

Cupツ

i was on this last night i was going super fast omg :>

An eye-level, full shot of a camouflage mini motorcycle against a white background.

Anonymous

A screenshot of a text message that reads, "Listen here you toe-eyed cabbage, I wasn't born into this world so your fat ass could choke out low-level insults at me. I hope you stub your toe in the dark and have to crawl around your bedroom at 3:47am in horrific pain after going to the kitchen for a midnight snack of cheese and crackers, you absolute gormless minger."

Anonymous

The image shows an email inbox with several emails visible. One email, from "William" at "Counseling Commons," contains offensive language such as "Hello Fucktard," "You smell like cat shit," and "Kill yourself." Another email is from Dr. [redacted]. Text overlaid on the image reads "who hurt the principle dawg" along with crying emojis and TikTok usernames.

Jazzy💕

A small, tan-and-white dog is sitting on a gray couch, looking up with a slightly tilted head. The text above reads: "me: *stands up* my dog: oh word? where we going?"

Anonymous

The image shows two screenshots of a woman. In the first one, she is smiling, and the text says, "Oh, he's cute and smiling." In the second, her face looks angry and serious, and the text says, "I'm gonna go make him wish he was dead."

RhymeKing

A blue sign with white text warns, "DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW OUT TO FAR. IT MIGHT GO HOME IN ANOTHER CAR."

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