Worst Jokes Ever

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Why should you care

REBEL!!!!!

The image shows two panels. The left panel depicts a man standing next to a sign that shows several things that are not allowed, like smoking, drinking, and using electronic devices. The text above him reads "TAKE THAT" and below, "SOCIETY!". The right panel shows a baby with a defiant expression. The text above it reads "TOOK THE 'DO NOT REMOVE' STICKER OFF MY MATTRESS" and below, "DIDN'T GET FINED".

Why should you care

I haven't seen sunlight in 3 years

The image is divided into two sections. The left side shows a picture of Gollum holding an Amazon box with the text "What my neighbors see as I emerge from my house once a week to get a delivery." The right side shows a picture of Thanos with the text "me pondering cyber monday deals over thanksgiving leftovers."

Why should you care

The image shows two side-by-side photos. The left one shows a cartoon of a bee with wide eyes looking directly at the viewer, and above it is written, 'what my cat sees when she opens her eyes midnap'. The right image is a cat mostly submerged in the snow, only part of its head and tail visible. Above this photo is written, 'me trying to get through life'.

Face mc shooty

A close-up of a person with a red face and an intense stare, superimposed with the text: "Vietnamese children after getting an order of 500 'Stop child labor' t-shirts."

Ursa Minor

Someone’s gonna get scarred

A Minecraft character stands in a seemingly endless, sterile hallway with yellow walls. Text at the bottom of the image says: "You will be boiled."

Cosmo the Intern

Heroin Monkey

A yellow sign with black text that says: "Keep back from the platform edge or you may get sucked off."

Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

Heroin Monkey

DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF.
Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and
the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH
A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom
turned around, I tell she looked batshit crazy. She
was
you
holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.
I'M GONNA
BREAK YOUR
FUCKING
LEGS GREG
WHAT THE
HELL?!
She then threatened us for answers for who told Dad,
and when I thought things couldn't get any i
BUBBY
DID IT!
worse...
HE had to fuck shit up.
10

Heroin Monkey

The image consists of six panels arranged in a 2x3 grid. The top row shows Donald Trump giving a thumbs up and Kamala Harris clapping, with the text 'No matter which candidate you vote for.' Below them are images representing various problems: a person peeking through blinds representing government spying, a stealth bomber dropping bombs representing military actions, a man lighting a cigar with a dollar bill representing the rich getting richer, Uncle Sam laundering money representing tax fraud, police in riot gear representing police brutality, and a weight with the word 'debt' chained to a map of the US representing rising national debt. Text below each image describes each of these themes.

MEME LORD

The image shows a tweet by Stanford F. Pines, PhD. He tweeted, 'It appears that there are 4 inches of snow today.' The tweet is above a picture of a hole in the snow, which is where he took the measurement.

DAP ME UP

Rate my daily schedule

The image shows a daily schedule. It lists activities from waking up at 6 AM to going to sleep at 3 or 4 AM, including school, meals, chores, and walking the dog. It also mentions snacks, specifically "3 grilled cheeses on hamburger buns."

united kingdom

A phone screen displaying a message in white text on a blurry background: "Frankly autocorrect, I'm getting a bit tired of your shirt."

Raptor

Le start of a wonderful relationship!!!!!

The image is a comic strip with eight panels showing the steps of a disastrous date. The first panel shows a girl with blond hair happily looking at her phone. The text above says, "step 1: get a date with a hot guy." The second panel shows the girl meeting a trollface character in person. The text says, "step 2: meet him in person". The third panel shows the trollface character stabbing the girl with a knife, with blood spurting out. The fourth panel shows the girl's head falling backward from the stab. The fifth panel shows the girl's head on the ground, her eyes lifeless. The sixth panel shows her head decaying. The seventh panel shows the girl's skull and bones on the ground, and the eighth panel shows the same remains against the background of a reddish-orange forest.

Heroin Monkey

The text reads: Calling it now. The Minecraft movie is gonna have a scene where Jack Black gets hit in the balls or something and says "Ack! My cubes!" because he has cubes for balls and the joke is that his balls are cubes.

sonicjokesmemesandposts

wow mario got done dirty

The image is a four-panel meme. The top left panel shows an old video game screenshot of Sonic with the text: "When the drowning countdown starts, but Tails takes the air bubble. SCORE 34160 TIME 2:03 RINGS 341 guess I'll die". The top right panel says: "KIDS TODAY GETTING THEIR VIDEO GAME TURNED INTO A MOVIE GET THIS" and shows two images of Sonic: one old and one new movie version. The bottom left panel says: "KIDS IN MY DAY GOT THIS..." and shows an image of a Goomba. The bottom right panel shows an image of the live-action version of King Koopa.

TaylorSwiftBoat

The image shows 50 Cent looking off to the side with a serious expression. Text on the image says: "Diddy did it, But my lawyer's so good that Diddy got acquitted", followed by "50 CENT, 'I GET MONEY (FORBES 1, 2, 3 REMIX)'" and the word "GENIUS".

Heroin Monkey

A person wearing a white cowboy hat and sunglasses is looking down. Text overlaid on the image says, "getting escorted out of a gun show for rating them based off mouth feel".

THE ALPHA WOLF

A cartoon image shows a list of things that school doesn't teach, such as how to pay fanum tax, how to gamble, how to rizz up a gyatt, and skibidi toilet lore. A cartoon character is wiping his nose in the foreground with a school building behind him.

Heroin Monkey

A USB drive is made to look like a KitKat bar. The text says: "These kids think they gonna get candy tonight when really I'm handing out 80 hours audio on why count dooku was actually a good guy."

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