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Heroin Monkey
8 days ago
A still from a Marvel movie shows Tony Stark, portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., with a perplexed expression while looking at a holographic display of a spinning Earth. Above the image, white text on a black background reads: "The Onion trying to write a more ridiculous article title after getting one upped by reality every week."
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  • Heroin Monkey
    10 days ago
    The image displays a product package designed to resemble American patriotic imagery. The background is an American flag with red and white stripes and a blue field with white stars. A bald eagle with outstretched wings is depicted above a red baseball cap. The cap has "MAKE AMERICA HARD AGAIN" written on it in white text, parodying a well-known political slogan. Above the eagle, the product name "M.A.H.A. 3000" is displayed. Below the cap, a single red and white capsule, resembling a pill, is visible in blister packaging. The text "GET YUGE!" is printed at the bottom left.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    18 days ago
    A screenshot of a fake tweet from Andrew Tate, whose profile picture shows a muscular man with a shaved head. The tweet reads: "Andrew Tate @Cobratate. One of the LEAST gay things a man can do is to fuck another man. Male on male sex is rough, masculine, akin to fighting. Sex with females is dainty, prissy. Sucking dick requires true courage. Getting showered with cum in a bukkake orgy is the height of heterosexuality." Below the tweet, engagement metrics are visible, including 15M Views, 434 comments, 762 retweets, and 13K likes, with a small watermark "r/totallyrealtweets" in the bottom right.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    1 month ago
    A black pickup truck is seen from behind on a road. The truck is heavily adorned with numerous crude and politically charged bumper stickers covering its rear window and tailgate. On the top left of the rear window, a sticker reads "MAKE AMERICA CUM AGAIN". To its right, another sticker says "FUCK DA NRA" with the NRA logo crossed out. Below these, a large sticker proclaims "GET ON THE CUM TRAIN". On the tailgate, a sticker on the left reads "ONLY MY WIFE CAN FART ON MY BALLS!". In the center of the tailgate, below an American flag decal, a smaller sticker states "I WILL NOT CUM". Further down, a white sticker with "TOYOTA" and "STOP THE CUM!" and "JUST SAY NO TO CRANKIN OFF" is visible. On the right side of the tailgate, a sticker says "L'TS GO BRANDON", a euphemism for "Fuck Joe Biden". Below this, another sticker reads "REAL PATRIOTS MAKE THE BEST BOTTOMS!". Further down, "WHITE CUMS MATTER!" is displayed, a crude parody of "Black Lives Matter". To its right, "SHIT BLUE" is visible, likely referring to Democrats. Below "WHITE CUMS MATTER!", a sticker demands "IMPREGNATE BIDEN!". Other small stickers include "STOP THE WIPE!" and "TRUMP TRAIN". The truck's license plate reads "NVR CUM". The truck has "4x4" on its mudflaps and a large exhaust pipe.
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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Shitpost master general

    A four-panel exploitable meme featuring the Trollface. The top left panel shows a beaker with yellow and blue liquid, with the text 'The voices are back'. The top right panel shows the Trollface and the text '1) do not listen to them', 'get a forklift', and 'cover yourself in oil'. The bottom left panel shows the Trollface again, surrounded by various bizarre and disturbing commands like 'cover yourself in oil', 'find a sturdy metal chair', 'place buttered toast on a cat's back', 'find two magnets', 'get a forklift', 'buy 1kg of pure mercury', 'let us take control', 'you did this to yourself', and 'kill them all', with the heading '2) resist their commands'. The bottom right panel shows the Trollface with an even more chaotic and layered jumble of text, including many of the previous commands, self-blaming phrases like 'you did this to yourself', 'we can't outrun your sins', and 'this is your fault', and the large, distressed red text '3) make it stop' and 'MAKE IT STOP'. The overall image depicts a descent into a desperate mental state.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    1 month ago
    A screenshot of a Twitter post. The post's text reads, 'These Coldplay concerts are getting out of hand.' Below the text is a photo taken from what appears to be a concert crowd. In the foreground, the top of a person's head is visible, looking up. The main focus is a large, clear, reflective sphere or bubble. Reflected inside this sphere are two men, Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump, standing side-by-side and smiling towards the viewer. Epstein is on the left, wearing a light blue shirt and a dark blazer. Trump is on the right, wearing a dark suit and a light pink tie. Bright stage lights are visible in the background, creating a glowing effect around the figures.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    2 months ago

    type shizz

    A white text on a black background, formatted like a series of 'be like' statements describing a progression of absurd events. It starts with 'Girls be like: We hate all men so we turn lesbian,' followed by 'Boys be like: Uno reverse! Turns gay.' Then, 'Girls: Shocked Pikachu face,' and 'Sperm trying to get into each other: Confused stonk.' The next lines are 'Goku: has sex with Wednesday' and 'Wednesday: Pregnancy 100.' The text concludes with 'Me: Only in Ohio!'
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A man's face is photoshopped onto the body of a round character wearing a brown hat and brown and white striped top, holding a large red and white swirled lollipop. The text above the image says: w-w-well does this mean i get two quissmassess~?
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A screenshot of comments on a social media platform. The first comment praises VR for experiences like boxing, zombie apocalypse, lightsaber fights, and 'porn' (represented by a corn emoji). A reply asks 'Which porn?' The original commenter responds, explaining they accidentally clicked 'for women' thinking it was 'four women' and ended up with a 'boner' (represented by an eggplant emoji) in their virtual face, describing it as the 'Gayest experience' of their life.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A meme featuring an elderly man wearing glasses and a cap, sitting in a chair. He is looking forward with his mouth slightly open. Around him are three Minions and two red heart emojis. The top text reads "A NAKED GIRL WILL GET SEND 500 DICK PICS". The bottom text reads "LETS SEE HOW MANY OUR VETERANS CAN GET".
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A dead deer lies on the side of a road next to a sidewalk. A string is attached to the deer, leading up to a balloon that says 'GET WELL SOON!'. A car is driving on the road in the background.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A close-up shot of a person's face looking confused, with a statue of an Egyptian figure in the background. Overlay text says 'imagine getting jumped by sum egyptians and one of em says' followed by a line of Egyptian hieroglyphs. There is also a small watermark in the bottom right corner.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A screenshot of a Twitter thread by user 'ka vinki' (@jkavinsky). The first tweet says 'getting hit by a car kinda fun fr it feels like an action movie when u roll over the hood'. The second tweet is a reply to the first, stating 'driver was crying like she killed me or something relax'. The third tweet is another reply, saying 'nurse asked me to rate the pain 1 to 10 n i said 25 n started screaming i'm getting this morphine one way or another'.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A beaver sitting in a car at a drive-through orders a "log". The text on the image says "lemme get uhhhhh log".
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  • DAP ME UP
    4 months ago
    The image shows an upset Majin Buu from Dragon Ball Z standing beside an hourglass with green liquid. The text above the image reads, "Me waiting for the next generation, to see which kind of cursed memes we get."
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  • Heroin Monkey
    4 months ago
    A flyer taped to a tiled wall that reads: "ATTENTION GAMERS. DIARY of a Wimpy Kid Roleplay club. Wimpy Kid roleplays are held at the local SUBWAY from 1:30AM - 3:30AM on Thursdays. Please do not come as Greg, Frank, Manny, Rodrick or Susan, as they are already taken. Please be Rowley we need a Rowley. Also, rude language will not be tolerated at the Wimpy kid roleplay. My mom will get mad and not let us do it anymore!"
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  • Heroin Monkey
    4 months ago
    A photo shows a doll that resembles an unborn baby next to text that reads: "If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they're bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass."
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  • MAHMOOD • iNKSTECHSHUB JOKES
    4 months ago

    iNKSTECHSHUB Joke asshole

    The image displays a quote in a text box that reads: "An ass-hole might get cleaned, but it never changes, even if it's washed with golden shower."
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  • Face mcshooty
    4 months ago
    A picture of a bathtub with a toaster inside it. The text above the picture says "When you get off of work and she's waiting for you in the bathtub."
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  • Face mcshooty
    5 months ago
    A meme featuring a man smiling with text above him that says, "when bro ran out of 🥜 so you whip out your dihh and touch tips with him and 🥜 in his dihh so he gets a refill."
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