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Heroin Monkey

type shizz

A white text on a black background, formatted like a series of 'be like' statements describing a progression of absurd events. It starts with 'Girls be like: We hate all men so we turn lesbian,' followed by 'Boys be like: Uno reverse! Turns gay.' Then, 'Girls: Shocked Pikachu face,' and 'Sperm trying to get into each other: Confused stonk.' The next lines are 'Goku: has sex with Wednesday' and 'Wednesday: Pregnancy 100.' The text concludes with 'Me: Only in Ohio!'

Heroin Monkey

A man's face is photoshopped onto the body of a round character wearing a brown hat and brown and white striped top, holding a large red and white swirled lollipop. The text above the image says: w-w-well does this mean i get two quissmassess~?

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of comments on a social media platform. The first comment praises VR for experiences like boxing, zombie apocalypse, lightsaber fights, and 'porn' (represented by a corn emoji). A reply asks 'Which porn?' The original commenter responds, explaining they accidentally clicked 'for women' thinking it was 'four women' and ended up with a 'boner' (represented by an eggplant emoji) in their virtual face, describing it as the 'Gayest experience' of their life.

Heroin Monkey

A meme featuring an elderly man wearing glasses and a cap, sitting in a chair. He is looking forward with his mouth slightly open. Around him are three Minions and two red heart emojis. The top text reads "A NAKED GIRL WILL GET SEND 500 DICK PICS". The bottom text reads "LETS SEE HOW MANY OUR VETERANS CAN GET".

Heroin Monkey

A dead deer lies on the side of a road next to a sidewalk. A string is attached to the deer, leading up to a balloon that says 'GET WELL SOON!'. A car is driving on the road in the background.

Heroin Monkey

A close-up shot of a person's face looking confused, with a statue of an Egyptian figure in the background. Overlay text says 'imagine getting jumped by sum egyptians and one of em says' followed by a line of Egyptian hieroglyphs. There is also a small watermark in the bottom right corner.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Twitter thread by user 'ka vinki' (@jkavinsky). The first tweet says 'getting hit by a car kinda fun fr it feels like an action movie when u roll over the hood'. The second tweet is a reply to the first, stating 'driver was crying like she killed me or something relax'. The third tweet is another reply, saying 'nurse asked me to rate the pain 1 to 10 n i said 25 n started screaming i'm getting this morphine one way or another'.

Heroin Monkey

A beaver sitting in a car at a drive-through orders a "log". The text on the image says "lemme get uhhhhh log".

DAP ME UP

The image shows an upset Majin Buu from Dragon Ball Z standing beside an hourglass with green liquid. The text above the image reads, "Me waiting for the next generation, to see which kind of cursed memes we get."

Heroin Monkey

A flyer taped to a tiled wall that reads: "ATTENTION GAMERS. DIARY of a Wimpy Kid Roleplay club. Wimpy Kid roleplays are held at the local SUBWAY from 1:30AM - 3:30AM on Thursdays. Please do not come as Greg, Frank, Manny, Rodrick or Susan, as they are already taken. Please be Rowley we need a Rowley. Also, rude language will not be tolerated at the Wimpy kid roleplay. My mom will get mad and not let us do it anymore!"

Heroin Monkey

A photo shows a doll that resembles an unborn baby next to text that reads: "If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they're bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass."

MAHMOOD • iNKSTECHSHUB JOKES

iNKSTECHSHUB Joke asshole

The image displays a quote in a text box that reads: "An ass-hole might get cleaned, but it never changes, even if it's washed with golden shower."

Face mcshooty

A picture of a bathtub with a toaster inside it. The text above the picture says "When you get off of work and she's waiting for you in the bathtub."

Face mcshooty

A meme featuring a man smiling with text above him that says, "when bro ran out of 🥜 so you whip out your dihh and touch tips with him and 🥜 in his dihh so he gets a refill."

YumMan

Explain Bear i hate you

The image is a comic strip. In the first panel, a group sits around a table and one says, "How do we get rid of Explain Bear?" The second panel shows three responses: "Burn him", "Eat him", and "We don't." The final panel shows the "We don't" guy smirking while someone is thrown out of a building window.

Face mcshooty

FUCKING GENIUS

A split-screen shows a California identification card with a photo next to another, seemingly more intoxicated photo of the same person. The image text reads: "Smoked before my ID picture so when I get pulled over high I look normal."

Caylez.cc

A digital painting of a woman with a very high hairline and a somber expression. The text above the image says "Me trying to get my hairline back to where it used to be."

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A screenshot of two combined tweets. The first tweet features a photo of Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos, along with the text "Ay, Tone. What kinda death camp has a divin' team?" The second tweet reads, "A million Jews drowned trying to get the pennies the Nazis had glued to the bottom of the pool."

Face mcshooty

A young man wearing a headset is sitting in a gaming chair and holding a bowl with a spoon in it. Text overlay: "Me pretending to get mad at the game after I died on purpose so I could finish my food."

Heroin Monkey

A man is standing in front of a wall with text overlayed on the image. The text describes a story about visiting a petting zoo, painting hair, and cow kidnapping.

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