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The ultimate speedrun

In a meme, Mario is shown with the text, "When the fire extinguisher said it lasts for 3-5 years, but you drink all the foam in 37 minutes. I have achieved unlimited speed... but nowhere to put it."

when you mix your dead wife's eggs with
your now dead son's sperm and drink
the mixture without feeling bad about it
because it's technically not cannibalism
veryrelatablenigga

The image shows the front of a liquor store with wooden poles angled into the ground near the parking lot. Text overlaid on the image says, "The front of a liquor store".

A person is squeezing a toy alligator in a lemon squeezer. A bottle of Gatorade stands nearby. In the background, the Stonks Guy looks at the scene. The text reads: "When life gives you gators make Gatorade."

The image shows a text with the first line "Me: I promise I won't form a perfect 256-man Macedonian phalanx tonight" and the next line says "3 DRINKS LATER", followed by an illustration of a Macedonian phalanx.

A cartoon drawing shows a cookie with multiple straws in its body, sucking from different milk cartons. The milk cartons in the background look sad and have teary eyes. The text on top says, "Cookies and Milk will never be the same again..."

♢ Shy Dragon ♢

Cherish you chocolate milk.

A cartoon character named Charlie is shown above a glass of chocolate milk. Text on the image states, "Charlie has bought you some chocolate milk. She shall return Wednesday."

A stack of Monster energy drink cans are piled up like a tower on a table. To the right is a large Monster energy drink poster. The text on the image reads, "How dudes named Kyle decorate their apartment."

The image shows a meme with two parts. The first part is text that reads: "I promise I won't get too crazy tonight" followed by "3 drinks later:". The second part of the meme is an image of a homemade tank with a bulldozer blade in front, in front of some destroyed building and an incomplete sentence: Man in homemade tank destroys small town, helpless police have no way to s...

The image shows a yellow background with the text "Wario's Tips for Summer" at the top. Below that are the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Next to 1, the text says "drink all the shampoo in the house". Wario is pictured at the bottom right next to a swimming pool.

A can of "RANCH WATER BUTTERMILK HARD SELTZER" is shown with a celery and carrot garnish sticking out of the top. In the background a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing is slightly out of focus.

A glass with baked beans, a cocktail umbrella and a sausage as decoration. The text says: "Days like this call for a beana colada".

The Unknown King of Moderation

The image shows two sides of a text message conversation between two people, with the text "No one: 11 yr old relationships:" above them.

𝕽𝖔𝖗𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖈𝖍

Fantasy

The image has the text "Is this the real life, or just a..." above a letter C created from Fanta cans.

daily reminder

Three cartoon frogs are shown in a row. The first frog looks sad. The second frog is drinking from a water bottle. The third frog is giving a thumbs up. Below the frogs, the text says: "Don't forget to drink water so you can stay HYDRATED while you SUFFER."

Guide to surviving Scream(1996)

The image displays the text: "The Rules of Surviving a Horror Movie in Scream (1996). According to Wes Craven's horror slasher movie Scream (1996), these are the rules to surviving a horror movie: 1. Never say "who's there". 2. Don't have sex. 3. Don't drink or do drugs. 4. Never say "I'll be right back". 5. Everyone is a suspect. 6. Never go out to investigate a strange noise. Bonus: The supposedly dead killer may come back to life in the end for one final scare." On the right, there is a depiction of the Ghostface mask.

A woman with messy hair is screaming with her mouth open. The text reads: WHEN I DON'T GET MY MORNING COFFEE

i need coffee where can i get some

A sloth lying on its back with its paws up. The text says: "NOOOOO NOT THE COFFEE~ I NEED THAT TO LIVE!"

welcome to hell

The image is a four-panel grid. The top left panel shows a single cup of tea with the word "Tea" above it. The top right panel shows three smaller cups of tea with the text "Some tea" above it. The middle left panel shows a single cup of coffee with the word "Coffee" above it. The middle right panel shows four small cups of coffee with the words "Some coffee" above it. The bottom left panel shows a drawing of a body with the word "Body" above it. The bottom right panel shows a scene from the movie "Shrek", with Shrek standing in front of his house with the text "Some body".

Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost

The image is a screenshot of a post on worstjokesever.com, displaying a conversation thread with several comments. It includes comments like 'Congratulations. No one gives a shit', 'Feeling right, looking tight. Come get the drinking shots on the rocks' and 'Ofc you're using song lyrics because you can't talk for yourself'.

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