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Diet

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A tweet from user @papiko_114514 on a dark background. The tweet reads: "It's unfair how easy it is for men to diet 😡😡. Masturbate ↓ About 2g of semen come out ↓ Masturbate 500 times per day ↓ Lose 1kg. Wouldn't you lose 10kg if you'd continue this for 10 days??? 😡😡". Below the tweet, it says "3:55 PM · 2019/02/13 · Twitter for iPhone".

Doctor

Anonymous · 10 months ago

A WhatsApp chat screenshot. On the right, a message from 'Doctor' says 'Hi Doctor' at 4:25 AM. On the left, a user replies 'Hi' at 4:25 AM. The user then sends an image of an illegible black scribble on a light background and asks 'how to read this?' at 4:26 AM. The doctor replies 'It's paracetamol' at 4:26 AM. The user then sends a second image, also an illegible black scribble, and asks 'how about this?' at 4:26 AM. The doctor replies 'amoxicillin... 3x a day' at 4:27 AM.

Robbery

Anonymous · 11 months ago

Changing one’s life looks like…

A close-up selfie of a Black man wearing a grey baseball cap and a light blue shirt. He has vitiligo, a skin condition causing white patches, notably around his left eye and cheek. Text above him reads: "He stopped robbing for 3 days and is already seeing Results".

Online comment

RapBoat · 11 months ago

A screenshot of a dark-themed YouTube comment section. The main content is a lengthy comment from a user named "IvanLubin" which starts with "IQ?" and discusses the high IQ supposedly needed to understand Playboi Carti's music, referencing theoretical physics, nihilism, and Russian literature. It calls those who dislike Carti "idiots." The comment then shifts to praising Kanye West's album "DONDA" as a "cultural reset," followed by a comparison of choosing "Dinner with Jay Z" over $500,000 for financial success. The comment abruptly ends with a bizarre, explicit, and disturbing fantasy about wanting to have a baby with "Travis," describing the birth process in graphic detail. A red circle highlights the last few lines of the comment, which detail the desire to have a baby.

Cigarette

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A diptych of two images. On the left, a hand holds a clear, yellowish popsicle with several cigarettes frozen inside it, filters facing downwards. The background is blurry green foliage. On the right, the same hand holds the same popsicle, but a bite has been taken out of the top, revealing the wet, brown tobacco inside. Above the images, text reads, "Nothing beats cigarette popsicles on a hot summer day".

Weather

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a weather application interface, displaying a forecast for "Pluto". The current temperature is -387° and it's cloudy. The hourly forecast shows temperatures ranging from -387° to 388°. The 10-day forecast shows daily temperatures, mostly in the -380s, with several days indicating a high chance of snow. An overlay text bubble says, "I fucking hate living here 😭💔💔". The background is a faint image of Pluto.

Gun

Creed (shit isnt availabe) · 1 year ago

A meme featuring the 'Nobody:' format followed by a YouTube video thumbnail and title. The top text reads: 'Nobody: Absolutely no one: Not a single soul on this Earth: THEN THERE'S THE USA:'. Below this is a YouTube video thumbnail showing a man, Paul Harrell, standing outdoors in a rural area with trees behind him. The video title is 'Should You Carry a Gun While Trick-or-Treating? (2021 Halloween Special)'. The video is by Paul Harrell, has 125K views, and was uploaded 4 days ago.

Username

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A young man looks directly at the camera with a distressed expression. Overlaid text reads "I was just messing around wdym I can't change my username for 30 days 😭". Visible below is the username "thecpgooner" and the word "Bro".

Dragon

DIANEE · 1 year ago

Me everyday all day

Cartoon image of a golden dragon with its tongue sticking out, with the text "Me everyday all day".

Dog

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A dog wearing glasses and a hat sits on the floor. The text on the image says, "Today is Thursday which means Dexter commits money laundering."

Hamster

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A still from "Breaking Bad" showing Walter White and Mike Ehrmantraut in a field with tall grass. Above the still is text.

Health

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image features a meme with the text "HOW I FEEL WHEN I HAVE A FULL DAY OF ASBESTOS REMOVAL AHEAD OF ME." The background shows a man yelling aggressively, which adds to the humorous exaggeration of the feeling associated with a tough job.

Bro

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A basketball player is about to dunk while the caption states: How that one bro feels after leaving you on delivered all day like your one of his side pieces.

Spending

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search result titled "Daily Spending For 70 Years." It calculates that spending $332 billion in 70 years requires spending approximately $12,994,129.16 per day. The search bar contains the query "vibrating buttplug for men."

Foam

Your local comrade · 1 year ago

A repost to celebrate: Happy Mario Day! Take a break and read your favorite chapter from the Communist Manifesto.

Cartoon image of Mario with the superimposed text "When the fire extinguisher said it lasts for 3-5 years, but you drink all the foam in 37 minutes. I have achieved unlimited speed... but nowhere to put it."

Life

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a social media post where a user shares the tragic news of their 21-year-old nephew's suicide. Another user replies by comparing the situation to the anime "Yu Yu Hakusho." The original poster then criticizes the insensitivity of the response.

Slang

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

bro didnt even get the words right

An image shows Explain Bear explaining the meaning of "icl ts pmo". It means:
ICL: I am dead
TS: That sucks
PMO: Put me on.

Cave

kaiser · 1 year ago

she not walking for days

A cave painting on an orange-brown stone wall depicts a person bent over with another figure behind them.

Crack

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A meme with a stop sign over a pile of crack rocks. The text reads: "Join the 3 day challenge. No crack on February 29, 30 and 31."

Move

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The photo shows the inside of a bus with blue and gray seats and yellow handrails. Superimposed on the image is the quote: "Fart once, they will forget it in a couple days. Shit yourself, and they'll remember for years. Make big moves to be remembered."

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