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Shitpost master-general

A screenshot of a Reddit comment thread. The first user, Deathcu..., writes a chaotic, rambling paragraph about Charlie Parker only playing scales, interspersed with repetitive exclamations about loving cigarettes, heroin, and tobacco. The second user, BionicTorqueWrench, replies with a simple correction: "Bro, Parker played arpeggios."

W E D N E S D A Y

A small, round, light-colored frog sits on a white background. Above the frog, the text reads: "It is Wednesday," and below it, the text reads: "my dudes."

A collection of items laid out on a grey fabric, resembling a backpack's interior. The items include a small bottle of Absolut Vodka, an inverted wooden cross, multiple beaded rosaries or necklaces in various colors, a box of Xanax tablets, and a folding knife with a wooden handle. Overlayed text in white reads "first day of school" followed by a pink heart emoji.

Shitpost master-general

A screenshot of a tweet by Jared Taylor, @RealJarTaylor, on X.com. The tweet states, "Black boys from households that make $700,000 a year go to prison at the same rate as white boys from households that make $36,000 a year." Below this, it adds, "AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE BECAUSE OF SYSTEMIC RACISM !! The Left does great research for us." Underneath the text, there is a graph titled "THE UPSHOT: Extensive Data Shows Punishing Reach of Racism for Black Boys," which illustrates the "Share of the men incarcerated on April 1, 2010." The graph plots incarceration rates against parental household income, showing a blue line for "Black men" and a yellow line for "White men." An annotation within the graph reads, "The sons of black families from the top 1 percent had about the same chance of being incarcerated on a given day as the sons of white families earning $36,000." Points on the graph are labeled "Families making $36,000 per year" and "Families in the top 1 percent," indicating a "Same Incarceration rate."

The image shows the Colosseum in Rome under a bright sky with a sunburst. Overlayed on the image is text in white font that reads: "Rome building starts tomorrow at 7AM sharp. Don't be late because they only gave us one day to do it." In the bottom right corner, there is a small red alarm clock.

crappy day under water

The meme features SpongeBob SquarePants sitting in an orange armchair with a smug expression on his face. He is holding a remote control. The top text reads "WHEN YOU GET A TEXT FROM PATRICK" and the bottom text reads "IGHT IMMA HEAD OUT".

Creed (shit isnt availabe)

A two-panel meme featuring two simplified white figures. The top text reads 'days since you last ate your own prime minister'. The left figure, with a United Nations flag on its chest, has a confused expression and asks 'what?'. The right figure, with the Dutch flag on its chest, has a neutral expression and the number '128,976' above the flag, implying it has been that many days since a Dutch prime minister was eaten.

The top half of the image features a 'TOP DEFINITION' headline stating 'National throw short people day' with the description below: 'On October 21, you can throw anyone under 5'4" with no permission needed'. The bottom half shows a close-up of Gimli, the dwarf character from Lord of the Rings, looking surprised and wide-eyed with his mouth slightly agape, possibly in shock or alarm. A 'CocoFun' watermark is in the bottom right corner.

A black and white image features Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a dark, textured suit, looking directly forward with a serious expression. Overlayed text in yellow reads "HOW TO BECOME A TOP 1% MAN", followed by a bulleted list of absurd advice in white, pink, and green. The list includes: "ONLY P*RN", "10L WATER", "WORKOUT (NO BREAKS) - 3X ARM DAY - 2X LEG DAY - 4X BUTTHOLE DAY", "READ BOOKS", "READ BOOKS AGAIN", "ASSEMBLE UNCLES", "300X DAIRY INTAKE", "12 HOURS GRINDING", "ABSORB DETROIT". A small username "@entopranure" is visible at the top.

A multi-panel image displaying former President Barack Obama eating hot dogs with an open mouth in various contexts. Above the images, a tweet from "no @tittyclip_" reads "Obama really the glizzy gulper." Below this, a Twitter thread unfolds: "scott @scott61077769" states "Trump could never throat that much glizzy" followed by "bernie johnson MAGA'20 @berniesjohnson" retorting "Yes he could idiot." Scott then replies "You mad Obama the throat goat" to which Bernie Johnson responds "HE ISN'T THROAT GOAT! Trump could throat more than him any day!"

An animated character, a man with a serious expression, stands in front of a decorated Christmas tree. Large red text at the top reads "ATTENTION!!!". Below that, white text states, "This year's Christmas dates have been leaked: Christmas Eve - December 24, Christmas Day - December 25, New Year's Eve - December 31, New Year's Day - January 1."

A tweet from user @papiko_114514 on a dark background. The tweet reads: "It's unfair how easy it is for men to diet 😡😡. Masturbate ↓ About 2g of semen come out ↓ Masturbate 500 times per day ↓ Lose 1kg. Wouldn't you lose 10kg if you'd continue this for 10 days??? 😡😡". Below the tweet, it says "3:55 PM · 2019/02/13 · Twitter for iPhone".

A WhatsApp chat screenshot. On the right, a message from 'Doctor' says 'Hi Doctor' at 4:25 AM. On the left, a user replies 'Hi' at 4:25 AM. The user then sends an image of an illegible black scribble on a light background and asks 'how to read this?' at 4:26 AM. The doctor replies 'It's paracetamol' at 4:26 AM. The user then sends a second image, also an illegible black scribble, and asks 'how about this?' at 4:26 AM. The doctor replies 'amoxicillin... 3x a day' at 4:27 AM.

Changing one’s life looks like…

A close-up selfie of a Black man wearing a grey baseball cap and a light blue shirt. He has vitiligo, a skin condition causing white patches, notably around his left eye and cheek. Text above him reads: "He stopped robbing for 3 days and is already seeing Results".

A screenshot of a dark-themed YouTube comment section. The main content is a lengthy comment from a user named "IvanLubin" which starts with "IQ?" and discusses the high IQ supposedly needed to understand Playboi Carti's music, referencing theoretical physics, nihilism, and Russian literature. It calls those who dislike Carti "idiots." The comment then shifts to praising Kanye West's album "DONDA" as a "cultural reset," followed by a comparison of choosing "Dinner with Jay Z" over $500,000 for financial success. The comment abruptly ends with a bizarre, explicit, and disturbing fantasy about wanting to have a baby with "Travis," describing the birth process in graphic detail. A red circle highlights the last few lines of the comment, which detail the desire to have a baby.

A diptych of two images. On the left, a hand holds a clear, yellowish popsicle with several cigarettes frozen inside it, filters facing downwards. The background is blurry green foliage. On the right, the same hand holds the same popsicle, but a bite has been taken out of the top, revealing the wet, brown tobacco inside. Above the images, text reads, "Nothing beats cigarette popsicles on a hot summer day".

A screenshot of a weather application interface, displaying a forecast for "Pluto". The current temperature is -387° and it's cloudy. The hourly forecast shows temperatures ranging from -387° to 388°. The 10-day forecast shows daily temperatures, mostly in the -380s, with several days indicating a high chance of snow. An overlay text bubble says, "I fucking hate living here 😭💔💔". The background is a faint image of Pluto.

Creed (shit isnt availabe)

A meme featuring the 'Nobody:' format followed by a YouTube video thumbnail and title. The top text reads: 'Nobody: Absolutely no one: Not a single soul on this Earth: THEN THERE'S THE USA:'. Below this is a YouTube video thumbnail showing a man, Paul Harrell, standing outdoors in a rural area with trees behind him. The video title is 'Should You Carry a Gun While Trick-or-Treating? (2021 Halloween Special)'. The video is by Paul Harrell, has 125K views, and was uploaded 4 days ago.

A young man looks directly at the camera with a distressed expression. Overlaid text reads "I was just messing around wdym I can't change my username for 30 days 😭". Visible below is the username "thecpgooner" and the word "Bro".

Me everyday all day

Cartoon image of a golden dragon with its tongue sticking out, with the text "Me everyday all day".

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