Worst Jokes Ever

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Crime Memes

Heroin Monkey

An image of an orange cat looking directly at the camera. The text above reads: "the newborn i microwaved watching me go to heaven because i confessed my sins while he's stuck in purgatory for not being baptized."

Heroin Monkey

The meme shows a castle with a skull-shaped entrance, set against a dark and cloudy sky. The text overlay reads, "YOU CAN LIVE IN THIS COOL AND BADASS CASTLE FOR 6 MONTHS RENT FREE BUT NO MORE SMOKING METH AND BEATING YOUR WIFE AND KIDS. COULD YOU DO IT??"

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Reddit post. The question reads, "What is something illegal that you've done and gotten away with?" The top comment says, "So you know how some people have bowls of candy with a 'take one' sign out for Halloween? Well, I fucked a dead moose."

XCVHJhgfghjhgsghjuehdj23456789

Ohio BRUH

A news report with the headline "Columbus I-71 Shooting Suspect Was Upset His Pet Duck Flew Away - Delaware Ohio News" and a mugshot of the suspect above. The text "BREAKING NEWS - SHOOTING SUSPECT SPEARS FROM JAX" is displayed on a red banner.

Heroin Monkey

A mugshot of a man is shown below a news headline: "Kenya: Chinese tourist arrested with 300 zebra pieces in his luggage."

Heroin Monkey

A picture of Cristiano Ronaldo with a smug smile. Above him, there is text saying: "when my car gets stolen but realise the body in the trunk is not my problem anymore."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a split-screen. On the left, a man is being arrested by two police officers. On the right, there is a collapsed parking garage with cars scattered among the debris. The text overlay at the top reads, 'New York man arrested in connection of parking garage collapse after giving homeless people pickaxes and telling them there was a lost crack stash'.

Thoughtless

A text post that says: "We live in an age where you can press a button and a deep web hitman shows up at your door and kills you. Technology is incredible." Followed by two comments: "what button", and "what fucking button".

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A screenshot of two combined tweets. The first tweet features a photo of Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos, along with the text "Ay, Tone. What kinda death camp has a divin' team?" The second tweet reads, "A million Jews drowned trying to get the pennies the Nazis had glued to the bottom of the pool."

Daddy dick

Just wanna repost from my old account

A news headline states "The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit Has Escaped Custody And Being Hunted By Police." Below the text there is an image with police cars and emergency lights as well as a mugshot of a man with wide eyes and a shocked expression. The news source is attributed to timw_brap, and the post date is January 8, 2016.

Daddy dick

Repost from my friends account

A picture of a news report at night, with police and firetrucks visible. On the right, a mugshot of Ian, the person who was arrested. The text reads: Breaking news. Ian arrested for breaking into homes and tickling butthole!

GG Miller

tryna catch a body??

The image shows a yellow minion holding a red bat. Above the minion are the words: "PATIENCE IS WHAT YOU HAVE WHEN THERE ARE TOO MANY WITNESSES."

Heroin Monkey

A woman's mugshot below a newspaper headline that reads, "'Long Live Chairman Mao!' woman shouts as she decapitates her landlord with a Samurai Sword for raising her rent."

CrackedRuby_alt

Oop

A tweet from CBS News stating that a Florida man was arrested for kidnapping 27 people and forcing them to play Yahtzee for 36 hours straight. The tweet includes the man's mugshot.

kanade otonokoji

PIZZA

A news headline states "Armed Pizza Hut Employee Shoots And Kills 1 of 3 Armed Robbers While Defending Himself & The Store". Below that, a person is wearing a pizza box on their head, a white apron with red spots, and holding a pizza peel. At the bottom, the text says, "Nobody out pizzas the hut".

RhymeKing

The image shows the text "Roses are red, I like cake:" above a screenshot from a YouTube video. The video shows a woman with a surprised expression. At the bottom of the video, the title reads "A man saved me from drowning, but now I am suing him for rape." The video creator's name is also visible as "Cassidy Boon."

Heroin Monkey

A group of children sitting in a circle under a rainbow-colored parachute. Above the picture is the text: "The council has convened to try you for your many crimes."

EnochTyr

FOR REALLLLL

A red and white sign that reads: NO TRESPASSING. WE'RE TIRED OF HIDING THE BODIES. There are several blood splatters and a spider web on the sign.

EnochTyr

damnn

The image shows a young girl, described as a 10-year-old comedian, telling a joke about online dating, saying that every time she meets someone new, they end up in jail. Below the girl is a zoomed-in, close-up of a face expressing an exaggerated, suspicious reaction.

Heroin Monkey

A mugshot of a man named Barry Larry Terry with wide, startled eyes. The text below states that he was arrested for unlawful possession of a wild racoon and not having a headlamp on his bicycle. The text above the image says "There is so much going on here. The name, the crimes, the mugshot."

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