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Crime memes

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Kidnapping

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A close-up of a chihuahua with a flirty expression. The text overlay reads: "*2 mins after being kidnapped* me: *blushing* So what made y'all choose me?"

Man

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A three-panel comic shows two men in orange prison jumpsuits sitting on a bench. In the first panel, the larger man asks "I killed a man, and you?" In the second panel, the smaller man responds with "GO GO GADGET BENCH EXTENDER". In the third panel, the large man is alone on the bench and looks sad.

Survival

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a video with a man in the center, with the text "Survival rate of kids in my basement" at the bottom and "3.7%" in the top right corner.

Backyard

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A black and white image shows a cat wearing a hat and smoking a cigarette. The text overlay asks, "If they find oil in my backyard it belongs to government, but if they find bodies in my backyard it belongs to me??" and also says "(Stay with me now)"

List

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Unbearable meme attempt 1

An image of two muscular arms about to arm-wrestle. The left arm is labeled 'Schindler,' and the right arm is labeled 'Epstein.' The text 'Jewish guy with a list' appears above the two arms.

Drug

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A statue with an exaggerated expression of shock and surprise. The text says, "When the cops find drugs and you have to act like you don't know how they got up your ass."

Shooter

YumMan · 1 year ago

POV: school shooters be like when they see students running

A GIF showing two hands. The lower hand is partially visible and has three stripes tattooed on its wrist. The index finger is pointed upwards, and a flickering flame emanates from the fingertip. Above, another hand with black fingernails is positioned.

Robbery

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange. In the first message, the sender says, "You a pussy ass nigga." The recipient replies, "Who is this?" The sender responds, "The nigga you robbed." The recipient claims it's the "wrong number". The sender says "Get that nigga cuh" and the recipient says "I'm trying."

Guy

Raptor · 1 year ago

Pure law-abiding citizen.

A person wearing a black balaclava and gloves is holding a gun in one hand and a book labeled "LAW" in the other. The text above reads: "HOLD ON GUYS," and the text below reads: "LET ME CHECK THE GUN LAWS FIRST".

Crime

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Florida Man

tabs1528 · 2 years ago

Bro WTF?

The image shows a headline that reads "Florida man arrested for tranquilizing and raping alligators in Everglades." Below the text, there is a photo of a man with wide eyes and a goofy expression, placed over a background photo showing alligators in a swamp.

War Crime

ur mom :3 · 2 years ago

it’s so fun

A white background with black text reading 'I' and then a red heart symbol, followed by more black text: 'committing war crimes on innocent families in war torn countries.'

Charge

RapBoat · 2 years ago

Based king

A news headline states, 'Diddy: I Will Beat These Charges Senseless', accompanied by a photo of Diddy in a gray shirt.

Divorce

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search result for "Mummy Pig" showing a cartoon pig, followed by text that details the pig's life as having 67 divorces, being in love with Lester from GTA 5, hacking Fortnite, and killing 417 people including Stephen Hawking.

Body

Toast ツ · 2 years ago

A cartoon fish character looks shocked while standing next to a dumpster. The text reads: Oh. That's a body without organs. THERE IS A HUMAN CARCASS STRIPPED OF ITS BODILY ORGANS IN A DUMPSTER BEHIND BEST PIZZA, MANHATTAN NYC NY AT 40.713050, -74.007230.

Cyberpunk

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet talks about "Cp", an abbreviation for child p***ography. The second tweet shows Walter White in a car yelling, "HANK, DON'T ABBREVIATE CYBERPUNK!"

Cow

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man is standing in front of a wall with text overlayed on the image. The text describes a story about visiting a petting zoo, painting hair, and cow kidnapping.

Batman

Wade · 2 years ago

Shits about to go down

The image shows Batman standing in the rain with a large light projecting the bat signal. The text says "You know, shit's about to get real when Batman calls for Batman."

Connection

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

Two photographs, mugshots of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, are pinned to a corkboard. A black string connects the pin near the top of Donald Trump's head to the pin near the top of Jeffrey Epstein's head, mimicking a conspiracy investigation board.

Overthrow

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A distorted image of Donald Trump, with the text "You like trying to overthrow the government, don't you?"

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