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Crime memes

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Torture

A man is looking to the right in a close up shot. Text above reads: "When you getting tortured by the Cartel but the leader thick ahh Colombian daughter walks in so I gotta withstand the pain so she doesn't get the ick."

Week

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

Alien

A gray alien with big eyes and an open mouth is pressing his hands against a glass surface. The text reads: "Aliens surrendering after seeing all their ships and weapons go missing not even 2 seconds into the invasion (they landed in Romania)."

Place

The image shows a map of the USA with counties outlined. There are several colored areas. A key indicates that the orange area represents "bread", "crust", and "pepperoni", and that the blue area represents "the place I beat an elderly man to death in 2004".

Memes

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Hitman

A person in a suit holds a gun. Text on the image reads, "HITMAN FOR HIRE. The only service you can trust! Dependably eliminating students since 1999. SANG VOLA. In Association with COLUMBINE HIGH SCHOOL. A Natural Selection Production."

Divorce

A screenshot of a Google search result for "Mummy Pig" showing a cartoon pig, followed by text that details the pig's life as having 67 divorces, being in love with Lester from GTA 5, hacking Fortnite, and killing 417 people including Stephen Hawking.

Cyberpunk

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet talks about "Cp", an abbreviation for child p***ography. The second tweet shows Walter White in a car yelling, "HANK, DON'T ABBREVIATE CYBERPUNK!"

Robbery

A screenshot of a text message exchange. In the first message, the sender says, "You a pussy ass nigga." The recipient replies, "Who is this?" The sender responds, "The nigga you robbed." The recipient claims it's the "wrong number". The sender says "Get that nigga cuh" and the recipient says "I'm trying."

Cow

A man is standing in front of a wall with text overlayed on the image. The text describes a story about visiting a petting zoo, painting hair, and cow kidnapping.

Murder

A picture with two children. One child is on the ground while the other one sits on top of him and appears to be hitting him on the neck. In the bottom right corner of the image a third child smiles and gives two thumbs up. Above the children is written "first degree murder".

Child

Who killed the child?

The image shows two panels. In the first panel, a man is sitting in a chair, slumped over, with the text "Innocent child" over him. A purple figure is standing over him, pointing a gun. In the second panel the same purple figure is pointing at the viewer and text says "Who killed the child?"

Kidnapping

I like kidnapping cats

A duck points a gun at the viewer.

Nipple

Shitpost-master general

Two hands are holding jumper cables. The text on the image says: "Your nipples. Hand them over now."

Cabbage

leaf turner

The image is a book cover with a pink background. The title "Cabbages and Crime" is written in white text. Below the title, the author's name, "Anne Nash", is written. The cover also features a skeleton sitting in a large cabbage. The text on top reads: "Two florists become kennel-keepers with murder thrown in for good measure."

Leader

A screenshot of a Google search result for Ervil LeBaron. It includes a photo of Ervil LeBaron and a description that he was the leader of a polygamous Mormon fundamentalist group who ordered killings. Overlaid on one of the photos is a picture of LeBron James with a beard, mustache, and devil horns.

Student

" I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL MOMMY!"

A green and yellow crossing sign with a figure of an adult and child walking is displayed. A news banner reads: "CRIME STUDENT STRUCK BY VEHICLE". Above this there is text: "Student hit by car while walking to Tanana Middle School". Below is the text "I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL MOMMY!".

Cult

someone explain these options to me

A screenshot of a Google search bar with the text 'help I accidentally joined a' and a list of suggested searches below: 'cult', 'Mexican gang', 'peanut worshipping cult', 'Mexican gang meme', 'peanut worshipping cult meme', 'Italian mafia', 'Russian mafia', 'Italian mafia meme', 'Russian mafia meme', and 'Jesse help I accidentally joined the finnish army'.

Sir

The image is composed of three frames. The first shows a police officer asking a driver "CAN I SEE YOUR I.D.?". The driver is replying "NO SIR. I'M shidding". The second frame shows a man looking angry with the text "AS IN DEFECATING THROUGH A SUNROOF". The last frame shows a yellow car, with three circled faces superimposed: Two of them are over the roof and the one in the bottom right is on the street. The text at the bottom says "DEFECATE".

Mail

A man with a beard and mullet wearing a suit appears against a background with purple lighting. The top of the image reads, "!TRADE OFFER!" Below this text, it reads, "You receive: Mail."

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