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Nipple

Shitpost-master general

Two hands are holding jumper cables. The text on the image says: "Your nipples. Hand them over now."

Alien

A gray alien with big eyes and an open mouth is pressing his hands against a glass surface. The text reads: "Aliens surrendering after seeing all their ships and weapons go missing not even 2 seconds into the invasion (they landed in Romania)."

Place

The image shows a map of the USA with counties outlined. There are several colored areas. A key indicates that the orange area represents "bread", "crust", and "pepperoni", and that the blue area represents "the place I beat an elderly man to death in 2004".

Diary entry

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

Hitman

A person in a suit holds a gun. Text on the image reads, "HITMAN FOR HIRE. The only service you can trust! Dependably eliminating students since 1999. SANG VOLA. In Association with COLUMBINE HIGH SCHOOL. A Natural Selection Production."

Cow

A man is standing in front of a wall with text overlayed on the image. The text describes a story about visiting a petting zoo, painting hair, and cow kidnapping.

Murder

A picture with two children. One child is on the ground while the other one sits on top of him and appears to be hitting him on the neck. In the bottom right corner of the image a third child smiles and gives two thumbs up. Above the children is written "first degree murder".

Child

Who killed the child?

The image shows two panels. In the first panel, a man is sitting in a chair, slumped over, with the text "Innocent child" over him. A purple figure is standing over him, pointing a gun. In the second panel the same purple figure is pointing at the viewer and text says "Who killed the child?"

Connection

Two photographs, mugshots of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, are pinned to a corkboard. A black string connects the pin near the top of Donald Trump's head to the pin near the top of Jeffrey Epstein's head, mimicking a conspiracy investigation board.

Weapon

selling illegal weapons for $5

An image of a yellow emoji face with a gold tooth and a smug expression is shown with an arm and hand holding a black handgun.

Cabbage

leaf turner

The image is a book cover with a pink background. The title "Cabbages and Crime" is written in white text. Below the title, the author's name, "Anne Nash", is written. The cover also features a skeleton sitting in a large cabbage. The text on top reads: "Two florists become kennel-keepers with murder thrown in for good measure."

Leader

A screenshot of a Google search result for Ervil LeBaron. It includes a photo of Ervil LeBaron and a description that he was the leader of a polygamous Mormon fundamentalist group who ordered killings. Overlaid on one of the photos is a picture of LeBron James with a beard, mustache, and devil horns.

Dog

A dog wearing glasses and a hat sits on the floor. The text on the image says, "Today is Thursday which means Dexter commits money laundering."

Circumcision

A screenshot of a YouTube video featuring Michael Stevens from Vsauce. The video title reads 'I got sued for circumcising random boys in the park.'

Football

The text shows a conversation in which Pop Smoke and Juice WRLD are playing football in heaven. Juice overthrows the ball and hits a man. OJ Simpson then asks if there is room for one more.

Student

" I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL MOMMY!"

A green and yellow crossing sign with a figure of an adult and child walking is displayed. A news banner reads: "CRIME STUDENT STRUCK BY VEHICLE". Above this there is text: "Student hit by car while walking to Tanana Middle School". Below is the text "I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL MOMMY!".

Accidental join

someone explain these options to me

A screenshot of a Google search bar with the text 'help I accidentally joined a' and a list of suggested searches below: 'cult', 'Mexican gang', 'peanut worshipping cult', 'Mexican gang meme', 'peanut worshipping cult meme', 'Italian mafia', 'Russian mafia', 'Italian mafia meme', 'Russian mafia meme', and 'Jesse help I accidentally joined the finnish army'.

Sir

The image is composed of three frames. The first shows a police officer asking a driver "CAN I SEE YOUR I.D.?". The driver is replying "NO SIR. I'M shidding". The second frame shows a man looking angry with the text "AS IN DEFECATING THROUGH A SUNROOF". The last frame shows a yellow car, with three circled faces superimposed: Two of them are over the roof and the one in the bottom right is on the street. The text at the bottom says "DEFECATE".

Confession

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Mugshot

Chat is this real??

$A photo of rapper Nas, with the text "Nas's mugshot after an attempted murder charge on Jay-Z for \"Ether\"." above his head.$

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