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Christmas memes

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Shitpost master-general

Merry eve of Christmas

A lit green candle in a glass jar sits on a wooden surface. The text at the top of the image says "Men are so hard to shop for". The label on the candle reads "Cigarettes and Gasoline Candle" and includes simple line-art icons of a smoking cigarette and a jerrycan of gasoline.

A photo of a Christmas gift wrapped in green paper with "HO HO HO" text. The gift is shaped like a small chair or a person sitting down. Text at the bottom says "I hope it's a PS5!".

A wooden Christmas tree ornament featuring a laser-engraved portrait of Jeffrey Epstein's face. The ornament is hung by a red ribbon on a green Christmas tree. Below the portrait, the text reads: "This ornament didn't hang itself."

A man resembling Santa Claus, with a white beard and hair, is sitting on a subway or train seat. He is wearing a red tracksuit with white stripes and an emblem resembling the Soviet hammer and sickle on the shoulder. He is holding a red shopping bag. White capital text overlays the image, reading: "SOVIET SANTA COMES TO YOUR HOUSE AND TAKES YOUR GIFTS."

Shitpost master-general

A cartoon image shows Santa Claus standing next to a reindeer whose legs have been replaced with cinder blocks. Santa, looking exasperated, is saying, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO STOP IN JACKSONVILLE." The background depicts a snowy urban scene with buildings.

A large Christmas decoration in the form of the character Godzilla is displayed in a shopping mall. The Godzilla figure is covered in Christmas lights and wears a Santa hat. Close-up images show Godzilla with glowing red eyes and breathing a mist, resembling its atomic breath. The text overlay reads: 'Japan is still trying to figure out Christmas.'

An animated character, a man with a serious expression, stands in front of a decorated Christmas tree. Large red text at the top reads "ATTENTION!!!". Below that, white text states, "This year's Christmas dates have been leaked: Christmas Eve - December 24, Christmas Day - December 25, New Year's Eve - December 31, New Year's Day - January 1."

A smiling elderly Black man with visible tattoos on his hands and a gold chain wears a blue baseball cap against a solid blue background. On the brim of his cap, a tiny elf-like doll, wearing red pants and a red and white top, is sitting. The man makes finger guns, pointing them at his temples, with a broad grin on his face.

A man's face is photoshopped onto the body of a round character wearing a brown hat and brown and white striped top, holding a large red and white swirled lollipop. The text above the image says: w-w-well does this mean i get two quissmassess~?

An orange tabby cat sleeps on a gift-wrapped pillow under a Christmas tree. The image text says: "Someone guessed what they're getting for Christmas."

A white cat wearing a Santa hat and a red Santa jacket is looking at the camera with an annoyed expression. The text on the image reads: "Can I haz... 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and would it be possible to get the partridge without the pear tree?"

Credit to the original uploaded

The image is a four-panel comic strip of a yellow bird wearing a Christmas hat and scarf. In the first panel, the bird sits on a perch near a window with the caption "this is the best time of the year!". The second panel shows a hand petting the bird with the caption "human stays home to scritch me more". In the third panel, the bird is near a Christmas tree with the caption "human also puts out more perches". The fourth panel shows the bird next to a present with the caption "and makes some shredding toys just for me!".

The image is split into two panels. The left panel shows a white bird wearing a red Santa suit and looking to the right with a serious expression. The text reads: "You really gonna scroll past and not say Merry Christmas?". The right panel shows a yellow and orange bird perched on top of a Christmas tree. The text reads: "Because in this house there's only one star".

Why should you care

The image is a two-panel meme. The left panel shows two hands holding the opposite ends of a sword-like object. The label 'Hug' is visible in the middle of the upper part, and 'Huge amount of money' on the bottom. The text above reads: 'What can make you feel better?' 'Me:'. The right panel has a picture of a person with a round face, with the text 'CHRISTMAS IS THE TIME OF GIVING' and 'SO I'M GIVING UP'.

Saint Niggalas

An illustration of a Black Santa Claus, depicted from the chest up. He has dark skin, a large white beard, and a friendly smile. He wears a traditional red Santa hat with a white pompom and trim, and a red coat over a darker garment. The background is transparent.

The image shows a B-52 Stratofortress taking off. The text on the image reads: "I am not a toy. I am not a Christmas present. I am a 100 year commitment. Please think hard before you give someone a B-52 Stratofortress this Christmas."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

The image shows a comment thread. The first comment, from user 'Messisdaddy', states "Those moans be faker than Santa". The second comment below, from 'bobbobve', asks "Wait Santa fake?"

A wrapped present in the shape of a rifle, leaning against a wall next to a Christmas tree. The text overlay reads: "I hope its a PS5".

An Elf on the Shelf doll lies next to the message "UR MOM IS HOT," which is written with Cheerios.

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