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Pregnancy

☠︎︎✞𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐎✞☠︎︎ · 1 month ago

when you get back from summer break and your teacher is pregnant

An illustration of Philip J. Fry from Futurama squinting his eyes suspiciously, with handwritten text above his head reading 'I know what you did last Summer'. The context refers to returning to school after summer vacation only to find out a teacher is visibly pregnant.

Shot

Composed Spider · 5 months ago

Dr. House

A black and white image of Dr. House with a serious, intense expression is shown within a news report frame. The top left corner has a "LIVE" tag. A red banner across the image reads "BREAKING NEWS". The main headline states "Dr. House shot dead in The Bronx". Below this, a yellow bar contains the smaller text "no more mouse bites".

Focus

Shitpost master-general · 9 months ago

An image of basketball star LeBron James looking extremely focused and intense, surrounded by digital flames and sparks. He is holding a basketball. Overlaid text says: "POV: when the choir hit a high note and the glass dildo breaks in my a$$ so I gotta lock in and pretend like nothing happened".

Court

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A black and white image of a court transcript snippet. In lines 1-2, MR. CHASE says, "Hi reader! You look great today!" In line 3, THE COURT responds, "What?" In lines 4-6, MR. CHASE explains, "I'm breaking the Fourth Wall and speaking to whoever reads this Court Transcript." Line 7 and the following cut-off line show THE COURT saying, "Sir, you are being charged for possession of child porn."

Man

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image features Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a dark, textured suit, looking directly forward with a serious expression. Overlayed text in yellow reads "HOW TO BECOME A TOP 1% MAN", followed by a bulleted list of absurd advice in white, pink, and green. The list includes: "ONLY P*RN", "10L WATER", "WORKOUT (NO BREAKS) - 3X ARM DAY - 2X LEG DAY - 4X BUTTHOLE DAY", "READ BOOKS", "READ BOOKS AGAIN", "ASSEMBLE UNCLES", "300X DAIRY INTAKE", "12 HOURS GRINDING", "ABSORB DETROIT". A small username "@entopranure" is visible at the top.

Ring

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Account

Shitpost master-general · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Twitter (or X) feed on a dark background. The top section shows 'Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper' with a 'Subscribe' button and the text 'BREAKING: Official Elmo account hacked'. Below this are three posts from a verified 'Elmo @elmo' account.
The first tweet, posted '44s' ago, reads: 'Elmo says ALL JEWS SHOULD DIE. FUCK JEWS. DONALD TRUMP IS NETANYAHU'S PUPPET BECAUSE HE IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. JEWS CONTROL THE WORLD AND NEED TO BE EXTERMINATED.'
The second tweet, posted '7m' ago, reads: 'RELEASE THE FILES @realDonaldTrump CHILD FUCKER'.
The third tweet, posted '10m' ago, reads: 'Kill all Jews.'
The bottom of the screenshot shows '7:22 PM . 13 Jul 25 . 2.2M Views'.

Skeleton

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Make sure to drink milk!!! | Daily Spooktober Meme #2

A skeleton sits in the passenger seat of a car, buckled up with a seatbelt. A white piece of paper taped to the window next to it reads: "Please don't break the window. The A/C is on. He has milk and is listening to his favorite spooky music."

Sequel

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A meme with text at the top, then two side-by-side portraits below. The text reads: 'BREAKING: When asked if 'OPPENHEIMER 2' was on the cards, Christopher Nolan remarked: 'What the fuck are you talking about?'' The left image shows director Christopher Nolan, a light-skinned man with blonde hair, wearing a dark suit and light shirt, looking directly at the camera. The right image shows Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer, a light-skinned man with blue eyes and a gaunt face, wearing a dark fedora and a white shirt with a dark tie, looking intensely forward.

Restraint

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a dark mode text post displays an explicit fanfiction excerpt. A picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad, wearing his Heisenberg hat and glasses, with a beard, is superimposed over the text. Red circles highlight Walter White's face, the words 'Say my name,' and 'name.' The text describes a highly suggestive scene where a character is 'trembling from restraint' and eventually pleads, 'Please. I need you. Say my name.' The final sentence reads: 'He's falling apart. He's breaking. You're making him burn, and he loves every second of it.'

Russia

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A social media post featuring a tweet from 'Globe Eye News' account, displaying a verified badge and the handle '@GlobeEyeNews'. The tweet announces 'BREAKING: Russia announces cancer vaccine is ready for use, free for all patients.' Below the text are two side-by-side images: on the left, a portrait of Vladimir Putin; on the right, a gloved hand holding a small vial labeled 'CANCER VACCINE'. Above the tweet, additional text reads 'The World is Healing 🙏 #Free #vaccine'.

Dhar mann

Anonymous · 1 year ago

When did Dhar mann joined organization 13???

A YouTube screenshot. The top half shows a video thumbnail titled "BULLIED NERD NEW MAKEOVER SHOCKS SCHOOL" featuring a young man with glasses, a bow tie, and red blotches on his face. Below the title, the creator "Dhar Mann" is visible. The bottom half displays the video's description, specifically a cast list. Listed are character roles and their actors, such as "Noah - Jimmy Pierce" and "Friend 4 - Casey Roxas". Overlaid on the bottom right of the screenshot is an image of the character Roxas from the Kingdom Hearts video game series, wearing a black coat and holding two Keyblades. An arrow points from Roxas to the text "Friend 4 - Casey Roxas" in the cast list.

Operating System

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Pope

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The meme shows two images side by side. The image on the left shows Twitch streamer Flight sitting in a barber's chair. The image on the right shows the interior of the Sistine Chapel during the election of a new Pope. Above the images, the text reads: "Breaking: It is unlikely Flight will be named as new Pope." A large red X is next to the words "new Pope."

Hamster

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A still from "Breaking Bad" showing Walter White and Mike Ehrmantraut in a field with tall grass. Above the still is text.

Spending

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search result titled "Daily Spending For 70 Years." It calculates that spending $332 billion in 70 years requires spending approximately $12,994,129.16 per day. The search bar contains the query "vibrating buttplug for men."

Croc

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Two Crocs featuring images of the characters Walter White and Jesse Pinkman from the television series "Breaking Bad." The text above the shoes reads "SORRY BABE." The text below reads "THE BREAKING BAD CROCS STAY ON DURING SEX."

Tank

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image presents a comparison between a "Girlfriend" and a "Leopard 2 A7 Tank". The "Girlfriend" side lists negatives such as "Can't fire missiles", "Never protects you", "Minds if you roam with other girls", and "Breaks up with you". The "Leopard 2 A7 Tank" side lists positives like "Can fire missiles", "Has a bulletproof outer shell", "Doesn't mind if you use other tanks", and "Virtually impossible to break."

News

Willy b · 1 year ago

The image shows soldiers with guns. In the lower part of the image, there is a text banner that reads: "Breaking News LIVE Due to a decrease in cookie sales, The Girl Scouts switch to a more agresive sales campaign".

Cat

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A cat is looking through a window or doorway. The text says: "Cat put in timeout for freeing other shelter cats".

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