Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

3 Memes

help me please im being abused

The image presents a list titled "Elon Musk's 3 keys to success" followed by the numbers 1, 2, and 3, each followed by "child slavery". Next to the list is a picture of Elon Musk with his arms crossed. In the lower right corner the text "ifunny.co" is visible.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a map of Ukraine with the text "Where we droppin' boys?" above it, and "Fortnite World War 3 - 22.2.2022 patch" below it.

Heroin Monkey

A brown otter stands upright on a grassy field, holding a small stick like a cane. The text above the image says, "You have been visited by the wise traveling otter. He will tell you the secret to learning the truth about WWII without trading your sanity for it, but only if you repost this and say 'Thank you wise traveling otter.'"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a Google search page for "sigma". The results are encircled and connected by lines to multiple images of Patrick Bateman.

Lostin Flowers

The image shows a meme with two parts. The first part is text that reads: "I promise I won't get too crazy tonight" followed by "3 drinks later:". The second part of the meme is an image of a homemade tank with a bulldozer blade in front, in front of some destroyed building and an incomplete sentence: Man in homemade tank destroys small town, helpless police have no way to s...

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Jorking my peniys

The image is a screenshot of a tweet by user @Xvstardust_. The tweet text reads: One time I was jorking mine peniys and... Well... Let's just say it got hard...

DAP ME UP #3 (brother)

only if peter was black

Peter Griffin holds up a color chart with the text 'OKAY' next to the first three shades, and 'NOT OKAY' next to the last three darker shades of brown. The text "Martha's Vineyard Liberals Deciding If You Can Live There" appears above the color chart.

Blach66.1

A screenshot of the Google Play Store page for the Kuda money app, which is advertised as being for Africans. Text overlaid on the image questions the phrasing, suggesting the app is for "Africans for money".

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Heroin Monkey

63 0060
Romeo & Juliet
is not a love story.
It's a 3-day
relationship between
a 13yr old and a
17yr old that caused
6 deaths.
Sincerely,
Everyone Who
Actually Read It

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

Wade XL

The image is a collage. The top part shows a news headline about an armed Pizza Hut employee who shot and killed a robber. Below is an image of a person with a pizza box on their head, a blood-splattered apron, and holding a pizza peel. The text says "Nobody out pizzas the hut".

Heroin Monkey

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows text above a photo of a cow stuck in a metal structure, with the name "pablo" written on the bottom. The text says "Step 1: Google animals stuck in weird places. Step 2: Give it a common Spanish name. Step 3: Profit."

Heroin Monkey

A man in a suit and cap is walking on a cobblestone street. The text overlay provides a four-step process starting with: 1. borrow 10 billion from the bank. 2. buy the bank. 3. delete your own debt. 4. sell the bank.

Silly Sonka

Sure

The image shows a person with the 'troll face' superimposed on their head, standing in an outdoor setting with leafless trees and a walking path. There is snow on the ground. The text below the person reads "I am once again asking to accept me into society."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot from Pornhub displaying a post. The post asks, "If you have sex on Halloween, is it a monster mash or a graveyard smash?" A reply below states, "It's only a graveyard smash if she's had an abortion."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a yellow background with the text "Wario's Tips for Summer" at the top. Below that are the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Next to 1, the text says "drink all the shampoo in the house". Wario is pictured at the bottom right next to a swimming pool.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows four comparison photos. Top left: a street full of cars with the text 'Here are 200 people in 177 cars'. Top right: a street with people on bikes and on foot with the text 'without cars'. Bottom left: a street with people on buses with the text 'on 3 buses'. Bottom right: a pile of skulls with the text 'on socialism'.

Heroin Monkey

A close-up photo shows a bag of cranberries with the text "Fucked with Fruit Nutrients" on it. Below the photo is a comment thread, where a user asks if someone violated their cranberries, and someone else comments on how it would be great to have nutrients directly absorbed into them.

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