Malware jokes

Where did the software developer go?

I don’t know, he ransomware!

Why did the computer go to the doctor?

Because it had a virus.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His computer got a virus.

I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!

It's called "The Bad Batch File!"

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"