Luck Jokes

Don't Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt

You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my V8 engine with the windows tinted Boy, we came from the bottom, got it out the mud Whole block jumpin' 'cause the subs stay hittin' If they roll up on me, know I keep one tucked (ooh, yeah) Woo Tell them boys come and get me I be ridin' through the city Young, rich and I'm pretty Homie, don't get it twisted Keep a semi in the hemi (oh) Red cup full of Henny My hitters come in plenties, for real You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my Wood grain dash with the matte black finish And it match my shawty with the big ol' butt Know them boys soft 'cause they got hard feelings You can try me if you wanna go and test your luck (woo) Tell them boys come and get me (get me) I be ridin' through the city Young, rich and I'm pretty (yeah) Homie, don't get it twisted (yeah) Keep a semi in the hemi (in the hemi) Red cup full of Henny (yeah, we drinking) My hitters come in plenties, for real You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my Woo, ooh, woo, ooh, woo, ooh Don't touch my truck (woo, ooh) Don't touch my truck

The mirror says: if you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck.

The Magic Jewel says: if you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck.

The condom just sitting there laughing.

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck, every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

What is gay - curious 🤔 😳 👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man 👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now? 🚲 🚲 🚲 😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you

I saw a tree I looked up and there was an apple hanging And then I said wow that guy is lucky

good luck gwen with everything

Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and Kind so stop joking about them! sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

Good luck, jake

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think damn better luck next time

he never has a bad day cuz he wakes up on both side of the bed

i love murder shows... wish me luck cause im kinda hoping to be on one one day

You got a black cat. He was bad luck. Everyone left you and you comited suicide. What a CATastrophe.

why did the man say chickens were lucky..? because they get killed and eaten.

Stephen Hawkings is sooo lucky to go to heave- Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.

I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg." I said "Excuse,me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said." Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde." The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him, the first man says, " I have been waiting to cross here for ages, its impossible to cross " the second man says, "there is a zebra crossing up the road", he said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am".

I don't have luck with other angels.

So I just WING IT!

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’