Living room carpet jokes

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.

What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.

Which room is the safest place in the house?

The living room.

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.