Life Expectancy jokes

New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?

A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.

What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?

Neither of them get old.

A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."

The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"

The doctor calmly replies "Nine".

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.