I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Why did the girl bring the ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
