"Knife to meet you all!"
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?
Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
