Kid jokes
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."