Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "when i cook i make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What's the emergency number Jimmy, u? Jimmy:9/11!
Once Jimmy was minding his own business then he hears his mom comes home he asked "where have you been?" she replied with "I was at work" yet he knew his mom did not have work so the next day while heading to school he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant and they want to try there device and they need the baby dad to say if its alright
Welcome to Jimmy’s orphanage and pizza shop where today’s loss is a sauce how may I help you
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
who’s more exited then a kid on his birthday?
jimmy savile in a primary school playground.
teahcer:what does a cow say. Susie:moo. teacher:good now what does a duck say. jimmy:the duck goes quack. teacher: now what does a pig say. little jonny: a pig says get up agaist the wall you black motherfucker
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle? Son: Why? Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
Jeff did you hear ther making a film about Jimmy savile it’s a very touchy subject. Yeah I did Gary but did you hear the reviews on the bill Cosby film people said it was so boring it put them to sleep
Why did jimmy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see time fly.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
I heard there making a film about Jimmy savill it's a very touchy subject
I heard the film about Is so boring it puts u to sleep
Jimmy asks a elevator operator what he thinks of his job The operator shrugs and says "It has its ups and downs"
Teacher: what’s 2+2
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: well jimmy I can see your going places not college but places
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals, they are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit, they go in and the first man comes out with a peach, he is instructed to shove it in his ass and if he laughs he will be killed, he tries and dies, the second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same, when the two meet at the pearly gates the first man says, i had a peach, there fuzzy, you had a grape whats your excuse? "Well i was doing fine until I say jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple.
why did jimmy drop his ice cream
Because he was dead
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."
