A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke? He won the No Bell Prize!
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: 'You might want to sit down for this.'
The shovel is a Ground Breaking invention. *Slaps and laugh*
the invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that they're arms don't get tired..
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.
Did you here about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do to wrights make? The first airplane.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
Who invented fractions? -- Henry the 1/8.