Interview Jokes

Man: I'm here for the job interview Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews. Man: Just anywhere? Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right? Man: Yeah that's me. (Shakes hands and sits back down) Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson? Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. it really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir. Employer: I like you already, you're hired! Man: Wow thanks, sir. I know i won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job! Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy. Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade? Employer: No. Man: This... This is a photography job right? Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked : " Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work ? "

A skeleton had a job interview but he looked messy

I had to fix his COLLARbone

Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.

Neona (😔) : You got the job and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

Gwen (😠): Neona you just don't got enough confidents, you got to have it confidents in life. I know you will get the job I do now just believe instead of giving up!

Neona (😞) : UGH fine!!!

Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face too!

Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen your the best!

I have a great job for you but you have to start it off... knock knock... Who's there? I don't know?!?!

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked "where are you from" and I said Portugal. He replied, "so you are a fellow country man of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Penaldo for costing me my dream job

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.