HI jokes

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.

What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.

The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?

"Ain't you got no cents?"

Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

"That is bull crap!"

Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?

Because his dog had a sore throat!

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?

Son: Why?

Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a bus.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

Hi. Hhhh yrddd.