HI jokes
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
What did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud!"
Memes
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.