Hi Friend Jokes

What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?

" 5 second rule! "

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat and the priest says bad boys and then his friend says what Kibab do you want and the priest says bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do

wut did the pickle say to his friend rick we are pickle ricks

Guy walks to his friends house his friend says “where is your girlfriend” guy says meet me at the cemetery in a week

How does the skeleton call his friends? With a teleBONE.

my departed uncle was a circus clown before he died

so all his friends came in one car

What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?

Hard cheese! 🧀😂

A man runs into a church and shouts are there any dawarf nuns in the monsistary,the pope said no causing the man to say to his friend I told you you fucked a penguin

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

- What did the skeleton say to his friend? - Actually... TIBIA honest i don't know how to complete this joke...

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

One day a man buys a rope to suicide, but his friend stops him. They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says,”What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?” The boy cries. Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says,”You gonna tell your mom?”, the little boy says, Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over.

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”

what did the japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody? that is very wong.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week? Everyone was furious but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”