A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
Watersharky Music Productions Presents Memories by Conan Gray.
One, two
It's been a couple months That's just about enough time For me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures Now I kinda smile, I haven't felt that in a while It's late, I hear the door Bell ringing and it's pouring I open up that door, see your brown eyes at the entrance You just wanna talk and I can't turn away a wet dog But please don't ruin this for me Please don't make it harder than it already is I'm trying to get over this I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories Now I can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night You see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning Over and over again I promise that the ending always stays the same So there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again I can't be your friend, can't be your lover Can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love With somebody other than me I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories Since you came I guess I'll let you stay For as long as it takes To grab your books and your coat And that one good cologne That you bought when we were fighting 'Cause it's still on my clothes, everything that I own And it makes me feel like dying I was barely just surviving I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories.
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
If you're an orphan, it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes.
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
