Harder jokes

You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.

Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."

What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.

What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

Depression hits harder than my dad.

You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.

What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."

What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.

My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.

I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.

I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.

What is harder than steel?

Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂

We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.