Harder jokes

I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.

Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.

I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.

What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?

The more you play with them, the harder they get.

Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...

Man: Men have to deal with women.

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.