Grief Jokes

my friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over

Very sad today found my pet mouse ' Elvis ' dead this morning, he was caught in a trap .

me an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes* some person: stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain me an orphan: that the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

mom died so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site

One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!

Hey mum why do people keep suddenly dying in our family? Mum? Mum? Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

my mom died

Imagen when you are about to cry at the funeral then your friends phones rings Then he says "I'll call you back I'm still at the die"

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

why are orphans funerals so small? they have no loved ones

The parents use to hit him His parents got into a car crash and died He became an orphan in an orphanage, the people there hit him, he looked up and said "parents?"

How did the orphan die

Of sadness

Damn Really stole my friend glasses well now their blind but not really their dead.

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over hear at a discounted 75 percent off. Customer: Okay? What's the catch. That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top of the line urns and will keep your loved ones remains secure and dry. Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep these have only been used once so it's is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him bitches always come and go. He’ll looked to me kinda mad kinda confused and said that’s my mom dude

I caught the flowers at a wedding-now married to a hot guy. But then i caught andit at a funeral i kinda nervo...............

Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!